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Tags: relationships, affairs, save your marriage
 Is there any good that can come out from cheating? Isn’t it the fastest way to end a marriage? Doesn’t infidelity destroy even the strongest relationship?
Most of the time, this is what happens. For some, the hurt caused by the betrayal is permanent, and the affair only means one thing, breaking up or divorce. The effects of infidelity can devastate everyone who is involved, and in most cases the disruption to the children and the cheated partner is not worth the price of saving the marriage.
However, for some couples, this is not usually the case. Some relationships see the affair as a wakeup call towards a meaningful togetherness.
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Unbelievably, some couples were able to survive infidelity and are now having the most wonderful relationship with their partner. The revelation of the clandestine affair can signify that a relationship has reached its breaking point, and the disaster can give the relationship a new direction. For some marriages or the committed relationships, this can be a positive progress.
Tony and Carry, married for 25 years, agrees. Here’s what Carry say about it.
“Believe it or not, Tony and I would have never made this far, if it wasn’t for his affair! This may sound absurd, but the affair was actually the best thing that ever happened to us.
When I found out that he was cheating, I realized that I needed to change fast if I wanted to save our marriage. You see, it was not just Tony who had strayed, I remembered drifting away from our marriage, too, and it really wasn’t much of a surprise that it happened to us. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew that one of us is bound to cheat. Now that we have surpassed that, we are more open and understanding to each other. We never lie to each other. We give each other importance. We take care of each other’s emotional and intimate needs. I would not wish infidelity on anyone, but in a way I’m glad it happened to us. After surviving it all, our respect for each other became stronger. We made it conscious choice to be together and we are convicted on doing that. People say we are lucky, but I say it was the commitment on saving the relationship. “
You, too can turn the most devastating event in your life and into a blessing. Follow these steps.
The first that your need to do is to make it a conviction to stay together. This means that when you decide to forgive, then, go on that direction. Deciding to forgive is never easy, but it has its rewards.
The second step is to communicate. Talk what made you stray and how to make it right. Instead of digging the dirt of the affair, focus on what you want your relationship to be and how to get that. This is not the time to point out what your partner was doing wrong, or what you felt was lacking that drove you to have an affair. Be sure that there will be no accusations and no blaming. Yes, whatever you do, never blame the cheated partner of your behaviour.
The third step is to realize that you are all in this together. I understand how you want to shred your cheating partner to pieces, but you have to be aware that if you want to save your marriage, you need to be each other’s ally.
The fourth step, as mentioned briefly in the second step, you need to focus on what you want from the relationship. You need to have a realistic vision of your life moving forward. What is it that you want your relationship to be after the affair?
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
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