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Tags: relationships, affairs, stages of emotional healing
 Being cheated upon can be emotionally and mentally crippling. You feel like you’re the ugliest loser in the planet. Being cheated upon not only kills your self-esteem but your hope and your faith in love and marriage. It’s one of the worst nightmares a wife can go through. As a relationship coach, nothing I can say or do can let the pain go away.
The best that I can do when managing a hurting wife is to guide her and give her certain perspective to strengthen her coping mechanism in the situation. In other words allowing her to acknowledge her feelings and at the same time giving her enough power to be functional. Forcing her to snap out of it will only allow the negative emotions to pile up.
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Understanding her reactions is one of the wisest decisions. Monitoring those reactions is also vital to prevent her from deciding about stuff that has permanent effects. Cheated wife are usually very much confused and lost. They are bombarded with scary mixed emotions that may cause her to break down. So it is best to explain to her that what she’s feeling is normal and she needs to go through that in order to be better.
In other words, explaining to her that what she’s going through is part of the stages of emotional healing. The first step of the stages of emotional healing is denial. This is the moment when everything feels surreal, like a dream, like you’re in another strange mean world and tomorrow you will wake up and everything will be the way that it should be.
Denial is always our first response in every life-changing and traumatic situation. It’s the brain’s way to cope with shock. One of the six stages of emotional healing after denial is panic. In this stage the bad news sinks into your system, scaring you to death. This is the stage when you are overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, you panic.
These reactions are perfectly normal. The real cause for concern is when you don’t feel anything at all. One of the stages of emotional healing after panic is grief. Grief is when the feeling of lost overwhelms you. You cannot stop crying. You cannot eat, you cannot take a bath.
You cannot do anything except to wallow and to cry. This process no matter how distressing is actually significant because you are actually saying goodbye to your damaging relationship, giving you a chance to start over. One of the most critical stages of emotional healing is guilt. Guilt is when you believe that everything is entirely your fault.
This is when you evaluate yourself and you hate it. This is the stage when you need to be surrounded by people who genuinely cares or else your self-remorse can turn into a down-right depression. Next to guilt is anger. This is one of the stages of emotional healing that can be as damaging as guilt because you can be overpowered by bitterness and fury.
This is the stage when you snapped out of blaming yourself and the fault is now pointed at your cheating spouse. The last but the most important of all in the stages of emotional healing is acceptance. This is when understand the whole picture. You cannot go on being hateful or bitter.
This is when you realize that you have your own mistakes and be able to deal with it positively. Pointing out to the cheated wife that what she’s going through is part of a process can give her faith and not false hopes. As a matter of fact, everything we go through in life good or bad is a process until we reach our higher self.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
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