 |
Tags: relationships, affairs, survive an affair this holiday
 The Holiday season is a season of love and merriment, of forgiveness and togetherness, but for a cheated partner, the holiday season is a torturous moment. For how can you be able to fully enjoy the spirit of love and kindness when you discovered that the person you trusted with all your being betrayed you in so many levels, that not even you can fathom.
It is indeed very hard to cope with the betrayal, especially this Holiday season when you have so many expectations to take pleasure in each other’s company. How can you even stomach of giving your cheating spouse a Holiday gift? How can you give love when you are overwhelmed with anger and bitterness?
You can still survive an affair this holiday season, just follow these steps.
For the cheating partner:
You need to stop the affair once and for all.
advertisement
This means that you should stop any forms of communication. If this means changing your number and deactivating your email account. When your lover tries to contact you for closure or goodbyes, or whatever “important” reasons, you should ignore it, and tell your spouse any encounter you had with you lover before your spouse asked about it. When you are in the same work place with your lover, keep your distance, and if you can afford it, look for another job
Don’t leave any details behind. This means that you need to answer all questions your spouse asked you. Your spouse and your marriage can heal relatively faster when you supply all details to your spouse.
When you reveal everything to your spouse, there will be hasty reactions in the beginning, but in the end, when you have been honest about the details of your affair, you and your cheated spouse will eventually feel better emotionally and reconcile faster than those who still keep shady information.
Don’t blame the spouse for your cheating. This is all about taking responsibility. Blaming your spouse won’t repair your marriage. Show total regret and remorse of your actions. Apologize, and vow to never, ever commit an extramarital affair again.
Don’t expect an easy way out. Your partner is hurt, and only your partner has the say on when you will be forgiven.
For the cheated partner:
Ask many questions. Asking a lot of questions can help you with the pain. Initially, you would ask about the details of the affair like, how did they meet, how did it happened, how many times they did it, how much money was spent, who else knows about the affair. Then later on, your questions will shift on the “why’s,” like, “why did he do it,” and questions related on why your partner was pushed into having an affair. This would eventually make you discover the weaknesses in your marriage.
Watch out for you rage. Sometime you can’t help but to scream and lash out to your unfaithful partner, however, you need to keep in mind that big emotions may prevent your cheating partner to make full disclosure which can lead to full recovery. When you want to get the truth, hard as it may be, but you need to be compassionate with your cheating partner’s emotion.
Don’t force yourself to forgive. The holiday season can sometimes pressure you to forgive even if you are not ready, this would boomerang on you, you must tackle your pain and anger before you want to rebuild the trust.
Look for support. Support is important, call a trusted friend, a family member that wouldn’t judge you or even your cheating partner. Finding support can help you when you feel isolated.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
Share this article
You may reprint this article in its entirety on your web site, newsletter or ezine, providing you leave the About the author sections intact. You may not alter the contents.
|
|
