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6 Ways To Know That He's Sincere About Getting Back Together
For a guide towards reading
a relationship so that there's
no infidelity check out what I
have prepared just for you.
Check out how here.
Without the right information
we tend to lose track of the
things that really matter in life.
By understanding the reasons
behind indiscretions, you will
be able to create the right
conditions for a stable and
compassionate relationship.
Today we have an email from
one of you. Let's see what she
has to say shall we...
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Dear Ruth,
Less than a year ago, I found
out that my husband was
cheating on me.
I discovered a golden necklace
for another woman stashed
away in the bottom of his
drawer.
The only reason I know
that it was for another
woman was because
of the card he had
included with the
necklace.
I confronted him with it
and he did not deny it.
While he admitted to the "fling"
as he called it, he denied ever
loving the woman and that all
it was, according to him, was
a few kisses but nothing else.
He said that he loved me and
that he was willing to make
amends for his stupidity and
set things right.
And because I love him I
gave him the chance he
was looking for.
It has been a while now and
true to his word, my husband
has been wonderful, and I
have seen his efforts in
making everything work
as it was.
However, in the back of my
mind I still have the dread
that he will do the same thing
again - that I only need to let
my guard down and he will
betray me again.
I really would like to have the
same feelings we have for
each other before this
whole affair thing
screwed it all up.
I need help. What can I do to
have that old feeling again?
Desperate but in love,
Mary Anne
******************************************
I understand your
apprehension.
It has only been a while since
your husband betrayed you by
having that "fling," as he
called it.
Be it called a fling or an affair,
the fact is he betrayed your
relationship, your love, and
your trust.
It's only natural for you to still
have feelings of doubt and
mistrust.
It's not like you can just snap
your fingers and all the pain
and hurt that has been
inflicted on you will
magically go away.
You're not living in a fantasy
land so that won't ever
happen, sad to say.
Instead of beating yourself up
about something that won't
happen, why not focus on
something that you can do
something about - like the
state of your current
relationship.
Ok take a deep breathe.
Take another deep breathe.
Feeling better. Good.
Now let's see about how you
can move forward from here
shall we?
Step back. By that I mean
detach yourself from yourself,
if that's at all possible, and
look at your current
relationship from a
different view.
What do you see?
After the "fling" your husband
is now back with you and by
your own words he is doing
good in terms of making up
for what he did.
While this is a good thing, you
still have doubts, and nagging
questions like “is he is really
back for all the right reasons?”
It’s not enough that he came
back feeling sorry.
There has to be more than
that. There has to be growth,
deep reflection and a
transition in your
relationship.
Ask your mutual friends how
he was acting when the fling
was discovered.
If he's talking about you and
then on how tough life was
then that can be an indication
of his lack of remorse and
sincerity.
On the other hand, if he is
fearful of losing you and
saying that he was the one
at fault then be happy.
Well not happy that you had to
go all this, but rather be happy
that he totally feels sorry and
really, sincerely wants to be
back with you.
Here are some signs that you
need to question his sincerity:
If he returns because of the
kids.
He misses the feeling
of “home”.
He misses the life that
he used to have.
He misses your cooking
and pampering.
He can’t wait to let bygones
be bygones.
He couldn't take the social
pressure.
He has never acknowledged
that there’s a problem.
Didn’t work out for him and
his new girlfriend.
Your woman’s intuition is
telling you that he is
faking it.
This list is definitely not
exhaustive, but it gives you
an idea of what signs to look
for in order to determine if
he's sincere or not.
******************************************
On the other side of the
equation there are also
positive signs that you
can look for.
He is very enthusiastic in
making it work for both
of you.
If he is really sincere and
positive that your relationship
can return to how it was before
you'll see it.
There's no hiding the
enthusiasm, and his
actions will reflect that.
******************************************
He is willing to sit down
and talk about the state
of your relationship and
how to make it work again.
He wants to talk things over
and discuss what he can do
to make it work.
Now that's someone who
wants to work things out.
When you do talk don't let
your emotions impair your
judgment.
Don't get angry or berating.
More importantly let him talk
and don't be offensive.
If you treat him as a person
then he will also see that
you also want to make it
work.
I don't mean, however, that
you should let your guard
down for one moment.
Let him feel that while you're
willing to get back, you will
not be fooled again.
Let him feel that you have
control.
******************************************
He is aware of the
consequences of his
actions and is willing
to accept them.
He knows that what he did
hurt you and he is taking
the blame and the
consequence that
comes out of it.
Someone who is brave enough
to do that should be, at the very
least, given the benefit of the
doubt.
Remember, acknowledging
one's fault is a big step to
reconciliation.
******************************************
He is willing to adjust to
the changes in you.
You have to admit, you are
now a different person.
More than likely you are now
more independent and stronger
because of what you've just
been through.
He should see that in you.
More importantly he should
respect and love that about
you.
He shouldn't be threatened
by it.
******************************************
He discusses with you
the true reasons why
he strayed.
This is very important point
in your after-fling relationship.
I'm sure you want to know
why he did what he did.
The fact that he wants to open
up to you and tell you of his
own free will means he want
to have everything out in the
open for you to scrutinize.
He is basically telling you that
he has nothing to hide.
By knowing the reasons why,
you can better understand why
and be better informed about it.
******************************************
He becomes a better person
himself.
This, I believe, would be the
best outcome.
That he becomes a better
person because of what
happened will only make
your reconciliation better
and more successful.
******************************************
Surviving infidelity requires
proper guidance and the
right motivation.
Reconciliation and compassion
are very much possible when
the extra-marital affair has
ended.
My guide will show you how
to win your man back from
infidelity and totally fool-proof
your relationship.
Check it out here.
With this in hand you will
never be ignorant again and
you can end the emotional
carnage that comes with
any relationship.
I’ll talk to you again soon.
Ruth Purple
P.S. Visit my blog at: http://www.relazine.com
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