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Beat Your Own Green Eyed Monster
Do you have the confidence in
your own relationship?
Get the self-confidence here.
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Let me ask you a few questions:
When you look at the mirror,
do you like what what you
see?
Do you smile everyday?
Rather, do you even know
how to smile?
Do you like to gossip and talk
about other people's flaws and
imperfections?
Do you like to talk about other
people's misery?
If so, does it make you feel
better about yourself?
Are you usually hesitant to
do things in front of other
people?
In a relationship, do you require
and need a lot of approval and
time from your partner?
Do you have silent expectations
from your partner and do you
anticipate those expectations
from them?
And most importantly- do you
even like or love yourself?
Answering "YES" to most of
the above questions means
you are a very insecure,
negative, needy, and
envious person.
You might say you are like a
leech.
You are a heavy emotional
burden to your family, your
loved one and most especially,
to yourself.
Sometimes you wonder why
your friends make excuses
when you ask them to go
out with.
It's not like they are always
too busy to be with you.
And when it comes to your
relationship, your partner
would probably rather slit
his/her throat than listen
to your constant whining.
The truth of the matter is,
no matter what you do,
no person or amount of
validation can make you
feel good about yourself.
Insecurity can be a debilitating
disease; if you are consumed
by it you will deprive yourself
of true happiness.
Insecurity means you can
become overly controlling,
unreasonably jealous, very
needy, sad and lonely.
It’s like living in a windowless
room; all you see are the four
walls.
It's about always seeing the
glass half empty.
What you have to remember
is all of us want to break free
from the chains of insecurity.
You are not alone with this
problem.
But in order to do that you
first need to analyze AND
understand the roots of the
problem so that you can
find the solution to take
care of it.
And so what causes all
of the above mentioned
symptoms.
Well it comes down to
your lack of self-esteem.
And it can have it's roots
during your own childhood -
you were never hugged or
kissed enough by your
parents; you grew up with
one parent, so were not
given enough attention.
You can go on and on about
everything you did not
experience during your
childhood.
The thing is it's already in
the past and you can't
really do anything about
that.
However, you can do
something with the here
and now.
You can break the cycle
that you find yourself in.
Learn to forgive your past
and in doing so you learn
to forgive yourself.
This is major step in
overcoming your insecurity
and moving toward personal
growth and self-esteem.
Learn to accept yourself for
who you are.
You are who you are and you
need to say to yourself “this
is me, I like it and if you can't
stand it then I’m sorry, I am
not going to apologize for
being myself”.
It’s normal to think about what
other people are saying about
you, but the truth of the matter
is, most people are too busy
thinking about themselves
than thinking about you.
And besides, why would you
care about what they say.
Think about it.
By saying what they do about
you, they are actually showing
that they are the same as you
- insecure and weak.
At the same time, sharing your
failures and weaknesses with
people you trust can help
a lot.
Their acceptance can really
boost your self-confidence
while at the same time make
you feel that you are not alone.
But more importantly don't be
the one to say negative things
about yourself.
You are your own worst enemy.
When you do say something
about yourself to yourself
make sure they are all
affirmations.
Everything starts within
yourself.
And you can get the help
you need in order to make
sure you don't lose to
yourself so you don't lose
your relationships with other
people and most specially
with your loving partner.
Check out the help here.
You don't have to be insecure
with yourself AND your
relationships.
Later,
Ruth Purple
P.S. More relationship tips can be found in my blog at: http://www.relazine.com
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