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Why Do You Have Commitment Phobia
Having problems with your
relationship?
Want to know if he's being
faithful or not?
Find that out here.
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Let me tell you something
about yourself that you don’t
know about.
Yes, you heard me, I'm about
to tell you something about
yourself.
Or at least I'm going to
give it a try.
You're a person who loves
the idea of being in a
commitment but only
if it's a commitment
to your work.
If it's for a promotion or a
salary increase you are
willing to give it your all
that 7 days just doesn't
seem to be enough time
in a week.
In fact, you love your work
to death (could be your
own) even though you don’t
get the same amount of
loving in return.
And all for what?
So you can have a bed full
of roses?
But let me tell you, flowers
don’t come cheap - specially
roses.
On the other hand, you avoid
discussing the issue of
commitment in a romantic
setting because, as you so
often brazenly claim over a
raised glass of martini,
independence is key to
your happiness.
The thread that binds you to
the love of your life (are they
really?) is as retractable as
a doggy leash, and what you
call dedication only means
walking the dog every now
and then, and not when it’s
raining.
Any one of the following
maybe a reason for your
commitment phobia otherwise
known as your fear being
stuck to the same person
for a lifetime (and that can
be a very long time).
You can overcome it but
you first need to identify
the cause of your trepidation
so you'll know what it is
you're up against.
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1. The Past Wasn’t A Blast.
Ah you're past relationships.
You’ve probably had your share
of unhappy and painful memories
and these have combined to
corrupt your idea of a “happy
ever after” life.
Because of that you're now
like a sentinel, ever on the
alert and always ready to
sound the emergency bugle
on even the slightest hint of
imperfection in your relationship.
In fact, you are so ready to
jump ship at the slightest
provocation that you already
have one foot out the door
while wearing the latest pair
of running shoes on the planet.
2. Too Much Work
This is for you lazy people
out there.
The easiest excuse you can
ever use: because being in a
relationship is just too much
work.
You think that strapping
yourself to another person
is plain hard labor.
Not only would you have to
live with that other person's
idiosyncrasies but you also
have to devote time to please
them and make them happy
and contented.
If that's the case why bother,
right?
You work for money, and
pleasure in a relationship
should be no sweat.
3. You’re Excitement
Personified
Being "chained" down in a
commitment just isn't your
style.
Restless and suffering from
romantic ADHD you're
constantly look for the
next “high” and easily
get bored by same old
romantic routine.
Complete commitment just
won’t work for someone like
you who wants variety and
spontaneity all the time.
4. Mr. or Ms. Anal Retentive
Do I really have to explain this?
You like monotony and find it
too bothersome to take your
relationship to the next level
since it would require a whole
new set of rules and way of life.
You like the way things are
now: you see each other
Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday after work and share
weekends and toothbrushes
sometimes.
Why repair something that
ain’t broken?
5. You’re Afraid of Rejection
Don't tell me you haven't been
rejected at least once in your
life?
You're one of those who's not
afraid of going through with
the commitment but afraid
that you may be rejected if
you broach the question.
It would be such a big blow
to your ego (of course it's
the ego) and one that you
may not be able to recover
from that you'd rather not
risk it.
6. Discontent
Buddhism teaches us that
happiness is the absence of
desire, and though you may
agree with it, it’s easier said
than done.
The thing is, us humans are
wired to yearn, to be loved,
to be with someone and that
would be your justification.
Even Kramer, in an episode
of Seinfeld, tells George, “Oh,
yes. Yes, I yearn. Often I sit...
and yearn. Have you yearned?”
Yearning is second nature to
you, and having contentment
in a relationship is as elusive
as a winning lottery ticket.
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These are but a few rationale
why you may be afraid of
committing yourself to your
loved one for life.
What is important is that you
recognize that you do have
commitment issues and
you seek to cure yourself
of them, specially if find
yourself constantly imagining
a life - not just weekends,
but your whole LIFE with
your loved one.
However, if in the process of
dealing with these commitment
issues you find that, fear aside,
you’re really just not ready for
being committed because of
a REAL reason that's fine.
At least, you’ve eliminated the
irrational and can now focus
on the rational and deal with
things better.
And in any relationship there
will always be questions about
just how strong is your loved
one's commitment?
If you have doubts or are unsure
then let my guide help you find
out.
Check it out here.
Until next time,
Ruth Purple
P.S. More relationship information, tips and strategies can be found in my blog at: http://www.relazine.com
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