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Tags: relationships, commitment, grieving a loved one
 Support system is one of the bare necessities of a relationship. Without it, your bond will never last a month. As a matter of fact, people seek and yearn for a relationship because they need to have a support system in their life- someone to share and their love, joy, hopes and dreams, their ambitions and aspirations, their troubles and strife.
That is why when a couple made their vows it specifies- “through thick and thin, for better or for worst, ‘till death do us part.” For couples, sometimes the problem is not their willingness to give the support system but how to do it. One example about this is when your loved is grieving.
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Grieving a loved one can be a tremendous change for both of you. And dealing with it can be complicated because people manifest their sorrow in different ways. My friend Tony confided in with me once when his father-in-law died “I really want to console my wife in every way I can because I know how she loves her dad but she is pushing me away.
She is very unpredictable- she becomes irritated, she avoids everybody, she has become very quite and I just cannot talk to her anymore. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Tony said sounding very exhausted and confused. Mourning is an unchartered territory for the persons concerned that is why giving your support system can be a challenge.
However, it’s important that these are vital times for your grieving partner and if you missed out in supporting her you might wake up one day and your relationship is over. So, no matter how challenging it may be show that you care and you do want to help her get through in these trying times in her life.
Here are some helpful guidelines in how to cope with a grieving partner. Be sympathetic but don’t patronize. Understand what is being felt by offering your availability avoid saying “I know how you feel…” Another helpful way to show your support system is by being patient and flexible.
Your partner will undergo different emotions. Stand her back and don’t antagonize her. This may mean taking her place in doing the chores or doing the errands but it’s a small price to pay for being there for your partner. Along side with this slowly encourage your partner to go back to her usual routine.
Another helpful support system is to be there no matter what. This is very important. This may mean filing a leave of absence from work especially on the first few days of the grieving. During these times open yourself for listening and talking. Grief is worst when it is bottled up inside.
So, again let your partner feel your presence and availability. Give and show lots of physical affection. It’s also best to avoid making major decision for at least a year. Take this moment of grief and turn it into an opportunity to show how you value your relationship and how you love your partner.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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