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Tags: relationships, commitment, love and lust
 Sometimes, when the passion in the relationship is intense knowing the difference between love and lust can be misleading. The lingering effect of great sex chemistry can blind the couple into believing they are meant to be. You get to wonder sometimes, is great sex enough as basis to have serious commitment? If we can communicate this great in bed maybe we can work it out outside the bed.
But the truth of the matter, great sex is just one factor of the many requirements of a true relationship. True love sees what is beyond the skin. It requires selflessness unlike lust, where your concern is just your own self-satisfaction. Selflessness in true love is the true pleasure. You constantly think of what is best for your partner even if it means you need to compromise some things.
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There's this guy I know who had been smoking for almost 20 years then he met a girl who he had intense feeling with. Since the girl has chronic asthma attacks, he had no choice but to quit smoking. He never thought quitting can be easy. “I tried quitting before but I just can’t get smoking out of my system.
Then, when I saw my girl having her asthma attacks for the first time, it scared me a lot that I promised myself never to smoke a single cigarette again. I’d rather die than to see her suffer.” This is what true love does, it inspires you to do selfless acts.
Another important matter to know if its the real deal is true acceptance while in lust- based relationship there are hidden expectations and desires. In true love you see the flaws and imperfections of your partner but still accepts him or her. While in lust it is quite difficult to have acceptance when your mind is made up with an “idea” of how your partner should be.
You have certain expectations and if those expectations are not met, you end up disappointed. If it is real deal the flaws and imperfection of your partner are the ones that makes him so endearing to you. He may not be that intelligent or good looking but what matters most is you inspire each other.
He makes you smile. Love and lust can become very vague if you are so consumed with the physical attributes of your partner and you don’t give a chance to really see her or him as a person. True feelings usually endure the test of time, while a lusty relationship can last for about a year without quality bonding moment.
They only meet when they need to get laid. This kind of lusty relationship can bore anyone. Another factor this kind of connection doesn’t work is because both parties usually have no patience for each other. They see each other for convenience. When problems arise, they are nowhere to be found or too busy preoccupied with other things.
It’s totally different in love-based relationships; the people involved will go to extra lengths to be with each other. Between the two kinds of relationships, it’s better to be in a love-based affair but if you have a choice, it’s much better to have both. Having both love and lust in relationship is the complete deal.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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