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Tags: relationships, commitment, commitment phobia
 Have you ever been in that state in your relationship when everything is just so perfect that it scares you? This is too good to be true, you say to yourself. Now, what- you know at the back of your mind commitment is the next step if you want to continue with it.
The big “C”- commitment. Just the thought of the word makes your heart race, your skin cold and clammy. You panic then you freeze. Are you commitment phobic? Let us first define what the word means. It is practically the fear and evasion of being attached to anything, especially in a relationship.
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Part of you wants to overcome it. Is there a cure for commitment phobia, is there a solution? Just like any other disorder or symptom, stop the denial and start accepting that you have a problem. Acceptance always opens new doors to healing. There must be a self-acknowledgement that you feel the fear in order to work it out with yourself or your therapist.
This is harder than it seems, since the person with the problem usually points the blame to the partner’s misdoing and failings. Allowing the blamed partner to suffer the hurt and pain is just plain wicked and down-right unfair. A strong-hold of self esteem and confidence is necessary if your are the blamed person to avoid emotional break-down.
If accountability of your issues is not done then you will hit the dead-end. Nobody can help you if feel comfortable living with your fears. Recognizing the issue is always the first step. After all, how can you change something if you yourself don’t believe it exists. You can also go through the process of elimination.
This is a big step but asking for the consult of a credible therapist if you are indeed experiencing commitment phobia or any other personality disorder is important. From here, at least you will know the real score. Nothing can be more frustrating than not knowing what is complicating your life.
One cannot resolve anything if there is no self realization. Whatever it may be- the fact remains that the fear to commit is real. Sad to say that understanding alone cannot resolve the issue. Being in this state can be very frustrating since it involves hurting the person you care about.
For commitment phobics, realizing that what they go through is not a disorder helps. Preventing themselves from thinking they have a disease. It’s an unpleasant behavior that you are willing to change. In order to achieve this, changing the way you feel from within you and not your partner’s is crucial in overcoming your issues.
Compromise is the key. There are fears that you just have to conquer if you need to be happy. One cannot live in fear forever. Fear binds and it inhibits your freedom. What more if you are afraid while in a relationship? You not only deprive yourself of happiness, but can cause pain to your partner as well.
Relationships are not perfect, but a good one is where a person and their partner grow, becoming better persons. It’s okay to fear, but let it be reasonable and where it should be, not for causing yourself and your partner unnecessary misery.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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