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Tags: relationships, commitment, what makes a good person
 It is but normal sometimes that when you fall inlove you really fall. You see how wonderful, great, amazing, astonishing, and remarkable and all the positive adjectives you see in dictionary. All you see is this one dimensional aspect of your lover. In some cases. when you see the affirmative side of a person, he becomes that person.
Seeing the fine side of your lover shows your steadfast faith, making him more inspired to become the best that he can be. This is the constructive effect of seeing the nice side of an individual. But in life, there are always two sides of a coin. When there is a constructive effect there is also a destructive effect.
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Sometimes seeing all the pleasant things in your partner can prevent you from seeing the truth. It is essential that you learn to love with open heart but with open eyes also. Having awareness keeps you grounded and more aware. In life and in love there is nothing wrong with being cautious, in contrary, it is a wise idea.
It will help you prevent untoward incidents that can have damaging effects. Being cautious requires you to really see your partner and that includes his deepest, darkest and vile side. Everybody has one; it’s hard to find a saint these days. So how do you know that he is a good person? One is to always ask him of his purpose with regards to everything that he does.
Does he know his purpose? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it out of fear or out of love? Good means unselfish, responsible and out of love. Bad means intentions or purpose are based from selfishness, insecurity and anger. There’s this one character I cannot forget and even fathom.
His name is Tim. He and his wife has been together for ten years, they went steady for three years and got married after that. They have two adorable little girls. Tim is unhappily married. He is frustrated with his wife’s selfishness and imperceptiveness. And I know that he is having an affair that he claims he found true love with.
He pampers his mistress with all the affection and love and at the same time he tries his very best to be responsible to his kids and wife. One day I asked him out of curiosity if he has ever been faithful and loyal to his wife and he answered with a tone of pride “Yes, I have been loyal with her for three years!” I was dumb- stricken with his answer, it was just mind boggling and beyond me.
I cannot understand a person who is still proud of the three years of being loyal to his wife out of the ten years of being together. I asked him, what is the reason of his infidelity. He undoubtedly answered because it’s “fun and I have someone to talk with”.
I bit my tongue to stop myself for saying something offensive with his answer. His mistress thinks that he is a good person because he is romantic and all that and his wife thinks that in spite of their problems, he is still a good person because he is responsible.
But I say, to be blunt about it, he should be responsible because if he isn’t he is just another weak and selfish man who takes advantage of his wife’s shortcomings to justifies his philandering. I don’t mean to sound idealistic but I think what makes a good person is to be a part of the solution not the problem.
What makes a good person is to help overcome and not to exploit the shortcomings of your partner. A good person, is someone with character and can look himself in the eyes without remorse and without guilt.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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