Another year has come by, and with this, you cannot help but to assess certain things, like how you’ve done the previous year, in your career, your relationship with your friends, your growth as a person. You try to see if you have really grown, financially, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. From this you try to set new goals again for the new year, to get that promotion, to buy that car, to go to that country, to have that amount in your bank. It is human nature to yearn stability, but with today’s career- driven world, your romantic relationship hardly gets the attention it needs, and before you know it, you don’t really know the person you are sleeping with.
Arguing, fighting, quarrelling, disagreeing... no matter what you call it this is a part of every relationship. Conflict is a way of communicating, if you do it right it can make your relationship grow. However, when you go beyond the line, it can break your relationship in an instant. Going beyond the borderline when fighting depends on the words that come out of your mouth, it can aggravate your conflict or it can make you both understand the problem and work together to solve the issues.
When you are committed to make things tight and right for your relationship this coming year, here are some suggestions on how to fight right, and how to fight fair.
“I can see where I went wrong in this...” Nothing cools down the heat more than admitting your share of the conflict.
One of the shows that I have been borderline- obsessed with lately is the animated series of Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Lastairbender. I discovered this when my 7 year-old nephew asked me to watch it with him, I was instantly drawn to the story and the characters. For a “kid’s” show, it has the tightest plot and characters ever written, and some of the best life and relationship lessons ever inscribed. For those who haven’t heard or seen it (watch it now) here’s a backgrounder. Avatar: The Last Airbender centers on a 12-year old (technically 112) boy named Aang, who is the next Avatar.
We all dream of having a perfect life, where people we love get along and help each other out. But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. As much as we wanted to bring harmony and balance in our life, some people just can’t get along. Now, we really don’t mind when other people around us will shred each other apart, but when the friction is between our family and spouse, then that’s when things become tricky.
Nothing can be more frustrating than being caught in the middle of the people you love and care about. This is one friction that you just can’t ignore, because these people are the “China and America” of your life.
There’s a saying that trust is like a mirror, once it’s broken, you might get hurt trying to put it back, and when you get it back, you can never look at it the same way again. Trust is a very delicate, profound and essential thing to have in a companionship. That’s why when trust is gone, the only way for the relationship to go is down.
When there’s no trust in the relationship, it can be exhausting! Not to mention distracting and disturbing. But who suffers the most when it no longer exist in the relationship? The partner who has trust issues or the one who cannot be trusted? I say, both.
Have you ever wondered why some women are just blissfully happy in their relationship? They are always laughing, frolicking and being romantic with their loved ones in spite of the years of being together? You see these women with their lovers opening the doors for them. When they cross the street, you see their men making sure that they on the safe side. Moreover, after office you see their boyfriends or husbands waiting for them ten minutes earlier. As a spectator, you can’t help but notice the pampering and evident love their men show them every single day without tiring.
Most men are good in articulating that they think, but when it comes to articulating what they feel, they just totally send a different meaning.
Decoding a man’s language and knowing what he really wants and can save you a lot of conflicts and confusions.
So I got some of my best guy buddies to teach me decode their language and let me in on what they truly mean.
Here are some common phrases of what he says and what he really means.
Dating Stage
What he's saying: “We should hang-out sometimes.” What he means: “I think you’re hot and I want to ask you out, but I’m afraid you’ll say no.”
What he's saying: “You’re really a good person.” What he means: “I’m sorry, babe but you’re not going to see me again.”
What he's saying: “Let’s be friends.” What he means: “You are not really my type, but I really think your friend is hot, can you hook me up?”
What he's saying: “I’ll call you.” What he means: “I may or may not call you at some point between two days and two months from now.”
What he's saying: “My ex is just way crazy.” What he means: “I really messed her up bad, and she is really upset.”
What he's saying: “We should date exclusively.” What he means: “I’m afraid that if I don’t say that, you’ll date someone else.”
What he's saying: “That guy seems to be a good friend of yours.” What he means: “Was there a thing between you and him?”
Something Sex- Related
What he's saying: “Isn’t this our third date?” or “Is it just me or is it hot/ cold outside” or “What time do you usually wake up in the morning?” or “Do you really believe what they say about oysters?” Real message: “I WANT SEX!”
What he's saying: (In the middle of a sexual act) “I love you” Real message: “I love that thing you do with your tongue/finger/body right now.”
What he's saying: (after the sex) “I’d really love to show you the place where I grew- up in.” Real message: “Are you comparing me to your ex?”
Relationship Issues:
What he says: “I really like you.” Real message: “I love you.”
What he says: “I think we need to slow down.” Real message: “You need to slow down, girl.”
This time it doesn’t have to do with you getting naked, (though it doesn’t hurt). It’s all about showing him how awesome your personality is in certain situations. Believe it or not, perfect timing is what makes a woman irresistible to a man. Have you ever wondered why after spending weeks preparing for a romantic dinner or squeezing your creative juices writing a love letter, only to see that the outcome barely made an impact on your guy? That’s because to truly “wow” him, you have to make the most out of certain situations. Here are the perfect situations to impress a man.
Understanding men is an unending quest for us women. It seems as if, no matter how we try, the world is still divided with, “us” on one side and, “them” on the other. The needing and wanting to dissect the opposite sex becomes a mission for life. We squeeze our brains out with all these dilemmas about understanding men, and when we cannot get the answers we want, we instantly take it out on ourselves. But the fact is, it has something to do with their chemistry. Yes, hormones play a vital role on how men react to love and relationships.
Another year has come by, and with this, you cannot help but to assess certain things, like how you’ve done the previous year, in your career, your relationship with your friends, your growth as a person. You try to see if you have really grown, financially, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. From this you try to set new goals again for the new year, to get that promotion, to buy that car, to go to that country, to have that amount in your bank. It is human nature to yearn stability, but with today’s career- driven world, your romantic relationship hardly gets the attention it needs, and before you know it, you don’t really know the person you are sleeping with.
