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Tags: relationships, communication, choose to be happy
 Two halves make a whole. And when two halves move- in together, it makes a lot of stuff and clutter. Some are cluttered with physical stuff, but some with emotional stuff. And when emotional stuff gets overly cluttered, that's when you begin contemplating- "Am I truly happy or just settling from an unhealthy relationship? This is a very confusing state-when you sit in one corner in your rocking chair and say- "is this as good as it gets?" For people who are in this state- you are not being ungrateful or selfish. That inner turmoil is normal and it happens. It's okay to be sad and feel suffocated sometimes. It's human nature to ponder upon the monotony of your life. You are not alone. I get you. I've been there.
In my 39 years of living on this earth, I had my fair share of adventures and misadventures with love affairs- I've been happy, I've been unhappy, and I had suffered in silence.
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Just like you, it was tough. I never felt alone and bad in my life. Alone, because I felt that no one understood me, and bad, because somehow, I felt ungrateful. But thank God, I was able to get through it all. I went from confused to Confucius. And when you get to the point where you ask: "Am I settling from an unhealthy relationship?" The first thing that you should do is to stop everything that you are doing and reflect. That's because when you push and push yourself and you go on and on like the energizer bunny; sooner or later you are going to malfunction, and your togetherness will not only suffer but your well-being as well. So, if you want to have the real answer to your questions, reflect on these first:
- Relationships are neither happy nor unhappy; it is an impartial and neutral element created when two people come together for whatever reason.
- Some people are unhappy with themselves for whatever reason, and project it on the relationship, are you one of those people?
- It is nobody's job in life to make a person happy.
- Unexpressed expectations result to unhappiness.
- Relationships are there to complement you, not complete you.
- Your happiness, you job.
If you feel that you are in an unhealthy relationship, then get out! But only after you have totally reflected on the fact that the unhealthy factor is your union and not you.
It's a common scenario that people blame the relationship for their own personal unhappiness, it's common and it's unfair, don't be one of those people. Learn to be self-sufficient when it comes to personal happiness. Because if both of you realizes this, your relationship will be as healthy as it can ever be. Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. If you feel unhappy and you think that you are in an unhealthy relationship, then do something about it. Don't just pout and complain. Talk to your partner about it. Communicate. Communication is such an overrated word, but it is really the wisest thing that you can do. Couples who are in a long term relationship tend to be lazy when it comes to communication, it's okay. Don't pressure yourself. Relax, take your time... and when you are good and ready, spill your heart out. Never confront your issues to your partner with heavy negativity inside you. This can constitute to an unhealthy relationship.
Remember, we create our own relationship. We have a choice on what to do about it. So, stop knock, knock, knockin' on the sad gal's door and choose to be happy about your relationship and your life.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.
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