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Tags: relationships, communication, how to improve your emotional quotient
 When it comes to dating, believe me, I’ve been there and done that! And I can truly attest that emotional quotient defines the person’s success not just in life, but in love as well. I’ve dated a man once, who was a heavy load to carry. He complained about little things and saw every speck of flaw from everybody and everything. I get so drained out being with him. Then, there’s this one guy, who is just so amazing, his optimism is just so infectious, it feels good being with him- it’s delightful! It’s so great being with him; we’ve been together for years now.
As a matter of fact, Psychologist agreed that Intelligence Quotient only contributes 20% to a person’s success.
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A whooping 80% comes from emotional quotient or emotional intelligence.
Therefore, it’s just sensible to say that if you want to find- out if he is the right one for you, then you should take time to discover his emotional quotient. To be aware of his emotional quotient take note of the following:
- Depth of self- awareness. This is his ability to recognize a feeling as it happens. One way of finding out if your potential man has a passing grade in emotional quotient is through his decision- making style. Does he take his “gut feeling” into consideration? Another way of knowing is to ask him his strengths and weakness, is he aware about these things? Also take note of how he communicates about his feelings to you, if he cannot explain them or is frequently confused about them, then mark that as a minus points.
- Mood management.
We all have good and bad moods; it adds spice to our life. The main key here is having the balance between the good mood and the bad ones. When we are overwhelmed by our emotions, it’s just human to have little control over it. But people who ranked high in their emotional quotient have the say of how long the emotion will last. Survey says that rage seems to be the hardest to deal with. We probably have this experience of being cut off by another car when driving. When this happens, our reflexive thought may be, “That idiot! He could have bumped me! I’ll show him!” The more you dwell on that thought, that angrier you become. We were inculcated that ventilating is a good way to deal with this, but experts says it’s the worst strategy ever. Experts gave a tip on how to improve your emotional quotient, and that is to use “reframing” or changing the way you interpret the situation in a more positive way. In application, when someone cuts you off, tell yourself, “Maybe the driver had some emergency." - Positive motivation. This is all about his enthusiasm, his zeal and his confidence. These factors contribute a lot to the success and happiness of your relationship. You can observe this through how he handles failure- does he take it too personally? Does he go for what he wants no matter what? People who have a passing score in emotional quotient, never blames other people or himself with their failures, but to the situation. This gives them the optimism and the motivation to keep on going.
- Self- regulation. This is your man’s ability to think before acting. Impulse control is the capacity to delay his urge in the service of the goal. Knowing if your man has this ability can save you a lot of troubles and problems, cheating problems to be specific.
- Social Skills. This is the capacity to be sensitive about other people’s feelings. This is about managing your romantic relationship while building networks. This is very easy to decipher from your man. Is he good with people? Is he good with your friends? Does he have lots of friends? Is he well liked in his office?
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.
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