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Tags: relationships, communication, open communication in a relationship
 Alright, so this is one irony about being a relationship coach, I exist to help people in their love-life but the irony comes in when the couple’s problem circles around their finances then I am forced to become a financial coach right there and then. Especially knowing the fact that promises were broken not because of negligent but because of money matters.
Some couples come to me on how to make their relationship work without spending too much. It breaks my heart to see a husband trying to satisfy his wife with his meager budget. Sometimes I can sense how heavy it is for a husband to reach out into his pocket and pay for my fees, when this happens, I can’t help it but to waive my billing and I can see in periphery my secretary rolling her eyes as if saying “not again!”.
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My point is this, money should never be an issue. Some might react boldly against this but hear me out first. The more you argue about money the more it becomes difficult for money to come in. For couples out there here are some tips and advice with regard to relationships and financial transparency.
Fighting over money in marriage or in any relationship is very awkward. When this happens, YOU should do whatever it takes to break this deadly habit. Why you? simple because now you know. There’s an obligation attached after reading this article. When the budget is tight, take the initiative and ask him to sit down and talk about it calmly and seriously.
Make the first move to have financial transparency in your relationship. No matter how uncomfortable you feel about your partner’s way in handling money, listen first and say your suggestions after. After suggesting, the hardest part comes next and that is COMPROMISING. It is a must that before you go into suggesting, both of you should lay out your goals and objectives.
You have to be specific about achieving your plans. What I’m saying is that when you set a goal to have financial freedom two years from now, write down the exact details how you will be able to achieve that- for instance, you will be able to pay off your mortgage and zero out your two thousand dollars amount due in your credit card.
When you and your partner got this covered you can now move on to compromising. Now, in a piece of paper, make a two-columned category, one column is for the “needs” and the other for the “wants”. This is about cutting loses or getting rid of the unnecessary. This means that giving up impractical lifestyle and liquidating dead investments.
What do I mean by that? Selling that SUV that you rarely use when you have a more fuel efficient car or giving up your landline when everybody in your family has a mobile phone. Once you have that settled this is the time to apply financial transparency. Lay out all your assets and liabilities to know your net worth.
One wife was so shocked when they tried this method because she found out that her husband has several character loans from friends and relatives just to maintain their luxurious way of living. “I wished he could’ve told me earlier maybe we’re not in this deep mess” she said. Hear me when I say that blaming, justifying and complaining will do you no good.
Don’t punish your lover for being honest. I am not a financial adviser but I believe that any financial expert would agree with me when I say that having an open communication in a relationship is a requirement to have financial transparency. Money is essential in the relationship but it should not be the focal point of your life.
Let love be your inspiration to acquire money not the other way around.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.
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