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Tags: relationships, communication, power of positive criticism
 Everybody loathe the idea of being criticized. Since we were kids we were criticized for our own good. As adults however, we sometimes repel the idea of being criticized and in relationships, this can be a very sensitive matter. We have to accept the fact that no matter how noble their intentions are, some people don’t have the gift of words and good intent comes out the wrong way.
Whether good or bad, here are some few points in dealing with criticism. First is to accept the comment. This means that you don’t respond defensively to it. However, before you accept your critic’s opinion, you have to ask yourself this question- "Is the comment appropriate?” if it is, then you have to accept it.
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By accepting it, it means that you are fine with it, you are human, you made a mistake and you will correct it the next time. This saves you a lot of self- inflict stress. The second way in dealing with criticism is disagree with it. Disagreeing doesn’t mean that you attack your critic, this basically mean that you have different point of view.
You have to understand that people tend to use broad generalization when criticizing; they tend to hit the person rather than the faulty action. If people over generalize your actions the appropriate way in dealing with it is focused disagreement. One example of over- generalization is “You’re always late and you have poor time management skills.” Focused disagreement is when you answer “I am late yesterday and today but I was not late two days ago and days before that.
And don’t say that I have poor time management because I always give you my reports on time.” Another way in dealing with criticism is by setting limits. Setting limits is when you impose your value. This is telling your critic that he or she is crossing the line. “You are so stupid!” setting limits is when you respond “I dislike being called stupid, I am not stupid.
I lack experience, not common sense.” Another way in dealing with criticism is through “fogging” technique. This is when you use words like “may”, “might” or “sometimes”. In this technique, you give acknowledgment to the message but you neither disagree nor agree with your critic. Another way in dealing with criticism is by delaying your responses.
This is very helpful if the intensity of the comment hit you bad. Delaying gives you time to gather your composure, control your emotions and thinking for the right words to respond. Delaying your responses prevent you from creating more problems. If you are aware of the consequences of being criticized, practice constructive comment to others; never underestimate the power of positive criticism.
Power of positive criticism can bring out the best in you and your relationship. Keep in mind “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing” and these my friends are the words of the great Aristotle.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.
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