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Tags: relationships, conflict, ending a toxic relationship
 It was once again a familiar scene in the household of Tony and Lovely- Lovely crying furiously because again Tony wanted to get her hard earned money. “Every time he gets my hard earned money I lose my respect for him. I have been physically, emotionally and verbally battered and he once cheated on me but I forgave him and for seven years of marriage he never gave me financial support.
I honestly don’t mind giving him money if he would compromise his expensive motorcycle hobby. He has a job and he actually earns more than me but he still cannot pay for our children’s needs like groceries and education. Ever since we were married, we were and still not his priority.
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It hurts because I love him but I feel like he is punishing me for loving, I feel like he is taking advantage of my love for him” was Lovely’s sentiments. Being married is such a sacred thing and married people are made to believe that no marriage is perfect and you have to stand up to it no matter what.
You have made a vow to cherish and be with each other forever, that’s why you have to endure whatever it takes to make it work. This can be quite confusing, what if you are in a toxic relationship? When do you decide to fight for your marriage and when do you decide to end it.
“People are people, they falter and they are not perfect” you sometimes justify. So how do you know exactly when to quit? When you are starting to feel and see that yourself respect is being trampled upon then you should quit. This comes in many forms- being disrespected as a person includes being physically abused and emotionally violated or being verbally humiliated.
You should quit from a toxic relationship when it hurts you so bad from the inside making you damaged and confused. When you use to be a positive person but now you become this gloomy and withdrawn and full of fear. Ending a toxic relationship is the best thing that you should do when you cannot function as a good person anymore, when you cannot take care of yourself and your children anymore.
Ending a toxic relationship should be done when it brings out the worst in you, when you have become damaged enough not to even care for what matters, you are always tired and emotionally drained and you have become to despise yourself. When you feel lost and sad inside, ask yourself if this is what you want your life to be, ask yourself until when can you carry and compromise yourself from your partner’s personal issues and dysfunctional belief system.
Will you allow your children to grow up in an environment of emotional toxicity? People, especially women hesitate to break free from a toxic relationship because of the sanctity of marriage but have you ever thought that your partner has broken that sanctity of marriage right from the moment he decided to violate you? Why suffer the consequences of his actions? Marriage should be a place where you are free to be yourself and be respected and loved, not a prison, not a cage, not a trap, not a of place fear.
Nobody has a right to abuse you or take advantage of you in anyway, when in a toxic relationship- stand up for yourself. Let it go. Leave.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
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