 |
Tags: relationships, conflict, how to save your marriage
 Solving deep seated marital issues involves facing your fears and one of that fears is looking within yourself, your history, your childhood, your intentions or your motives. Some men would constantly whines about their wife’s selfishness and irrationality. While on the other hand, women would regularly complain about their husband’s inconsiderate actions.
One of the first things why some conflicts never get resolved is because couples would rather blame their spouse’s misdoings for their own. For instance, a wife would say “How can I be in the mood for sex when he comes home late and drunk?” while the husband would say “Why would I go home early when I usually get ignored and neglected?” Some husbands would grumble “I just want one thing when I go home and that is someone to talk to, someone to listen and someone that can make me laugh, you know what I mean? I just want to feel inspired” and again the wife would sadly say that “I just can’t make myself to talk to him much less be affectionate when he makes me feel that he’d rather be with his friends than me!” When you are in the middle all of these it can be quite deafening and exhausting, believe me.
advertisement
When in this situation, I usually advice the spouse who “knows better” to compromise than the one who, shall we say “emotionally challenged”. So how can one tell which one is emotionally equipped? The one with the higher understanding or can asses the relationship more or simply the one who asked for advice is usually the one that is easier to talk to with regards to giving solutions to the problem.
The first thing that couples should do to resolve deep seated marital issues or couples who plays “emotional ping-pong” is to stop the power playing in their marriage. One thing to put a stop on marital issues is to resolve your own personal issues first. If you neglect your own deep seated problems then it is impossible for you to handle any problems in your marriage.
How to save your marriage depends on how well you know your strengths and your weaknesses. How to save your marriage depends on to what extent you are willing to compromise yourself. You should know your threshold or your emotional gauge until when you can hold on. It is quite difficult to deal with marital issues if you are at lost or confused of what it is you want in yourself.
In solving marital issues you have to know what it is that you want your partner to do. Then start by example, for instance if you want more affection from your partner, you have to start by doing it to him, show him how it feels to be loved and cared without expecting anything in return.
Starting by example is not easy, you have to let go of your own anger and rising above your own issues. Starting by example in solving marital issues is an ultimate act of unselfishness. In power play, one partner takes advantage of the weakness of his or her partner but in starting by example, the partner is initiating a solution by emotionally strengthening his or her partner and helps him or her overcome the weaknesses.
Instead of complaining or whining about your partner’s faults and shortcomings, why not set by example by doing something that would make your partner happier and contented? I think this is one of the ultimate act of love and care for one another.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
Share this article
You may reprint this article in its entirety on your web site, newsletter or ezine, providing you leave the About the author sections intact. You may not alter the contents.
|
|
