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Tags: relationships, conflict, dealing with controlling people
 Control freaks no matter how you avoid them, fate has a wicked sense of humor of bringing them into your lives. Maybe fate is trying to punish you or wanting to keep the yin and yang in your life that you keep on bumping into these control freaks. They never seem to disappear in your life.
Control freaks have many forms and faces, from that stringent teacher of yours in second grade, to your bad-tempered narrow minded boss, to your pounding in law or to your incorrigibly nagging lover or spouse. Living with them can be emotionally, mentally and physically draining. Before knowing the ways in dealing with controlling people, you have to identify exactly what they are.
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Control freaks are people who believe that it’s their way or the high way. They cannot stomach it if people don’t heed from their advice. They believe that they know better than anyone else and they know what’s good for you or anyone else. It’s a compulsion for them to push you and push you again to have his or her way until you adhere to his or her advice.
It doesn’t stop there, control freaks don’t only stop in your adherence to his or her requests but he or she wants you to adopt his or her way of thinking. If you try to defy them they will think you don’t respect or love them. They parallel compliance with respect, that’s why being with a person like this is very exhausting.
People who usually end up with a control freak for a partner are usually distracted, tired, have low self-esteem, and very unhappy. Almost all of the people who have control issues in their marriage end up cheating to their controlling partner or the marriage end up in divorce. If you don’t want your marriage to end in divorce, here are some successful tips in dealing with controlling people.
Find a right timing in bargaining limitations and boundaries. If you have a controlling spouse, discussions about limitations should be done in an amiable ambiance. Telling your spouse to compromise in a heated discussion is futile. When you feel like the timing is right, discuss about compromises and limitations with your spouse.
For instance, you can tell her “Honey, since I’m an accountant can you hear my suggestions and ideas about budgeting and managing our savings?” Be sure that when you set your limitations have a consequence tailed to it when it is not conformed. Another successful way in dealing with controlling people is not to give in to their emotional blackmail.
Control freaks are emotional blackmailers by nature. “If you don’t do this, I will walk out of here and make a mess of my life.” If you give in, they will just continue to emotionally take advantage of you. The best way you can do is to stand your ground and agree to disagree.
Lastly, in dealing with controlling people is to choose your battles with her. You don’t need to pay attention every time he or she wants to argue about stuff he or she wants to have control over. Sometimes giving a deaf ear is best solution for both of you. Dealing with controlling people is important especially if it involves people who are significant in your life.
In relationship, suffering in silence is a form of cheating. So, if you value yourself and your marriage, compromise and know your limitations.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
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