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Tags: relationships, conflict, how to get over a break up
 Life is about making choices. Some choices, like who you marry are big… while others are even bigger. Another choice is how to get over a break up. Some handle it calmly, while others jump into rebounds and some get free reign to whine to their friends. Yes, I believe that part of the breaking up process is you get free- reign to whine to your friends. But when you crossed the line from pleasurably neurotic to annoyingly troubled, and your friends start to cut you off, cold turkey, it's time to think about going to a very expensive foster care- a shrink.
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There is nothing wrong with going to a therapist when you believe that you are being too obsessive about your broken heart. Nobody can blame you. Suffering from a broken heart is indeed one of the most painful things that a person can deal with. Here are some of the tips that can be useful if you are under the weather because of a broken heart.
- The first thing that you have to do to heal your broken heart is to face the fact that it’s really over.
- Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to heal from the pain of a broken heart. Grieve and cry for the loss of your relationship. This can take a while depending of the intensity of your relationship but hang- on.
Be patient with yourself. - Let your angst out. Getting angry is part of the process, you're angry at the world, angry at your ex, and most of all angry at yourself. The only way to deal with this is to let it out. You can cry, you can shout at the top of your lungs, but be wary of any self- destructive activities.
- Don’t romanticize your past if you want to heal your broken heart. Reminiscing about the “happy days” is normal, but don’t dwell on it. Romanticizing your past will only make you think that the bad areas of your relationship are not that bad, making you desperate for him. Don’t play these mind games with yourself.
- Total communication black-out from your ex is good for you when you are suffering from a broken heart. No calls, no texting, no IMs, no e-mails, no seeing his friends and family, no checking his Facebook or Myspace account.
- To heal from a broken heart, surround yourself with people you love and trust like your friends or family that can make you feel good, and allow you to be yourself. Talk to people that can make you laugh and forget about your worries.
- Have a journal. Jot down your emotions, write as you feel, don’t edit yourself. Sometimes as you put everything in writing, you’ll be amazed on the ideas and wisdom that can come out of it. Let this lesson enrich your life. Remember, no relationship is a failure as long as you have learned from it.
- List down the things that you don’t like about your ex. Be ruthless. For instance: 1.He is so materialistic and ambitious! 2.He is SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE! and so on and so forth. When you feel weak and had the urge to call him, take this list out and ask yourself if you want to be a part of that again.
- Keep yourself busy, stay active, clean-up and get organized. Go out with friends, have fun. Concentrate on your work, learn a new skill.
- Forget about rebound love. This is the worst thing that you can do. This is usually a prelude to being co-dependent.
- Remember these clichés and live them by heart:“What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger”, “This too shall pass” and “Everything happens for a reason”.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
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