 |
Tags: relationships, conflict, jealousy
 Everything is fine and dandy between you and your lover until you see him talking to his pretty co-worker or your sexy next door neighbor. Then suddenly you gave him the silent treatment. Your sudden mood change puzzles him and before you know it, both of you are having a heated arguments.
What happened? It’s simple you got jealous. Jealousy can be a very over whelming emotion. You become irrational and erratic. Jealousy is an emotion rooted from fear of losing the one you love because of other factors. Jealous people are not just jealous with other people alone; they are jealous with anything that consumes the time and attention of his lover- his work, his hobbies even his family.
advertisement
Jealous lovers usually has abandonment and trust issues, they are insecure, and emotionally dependent to their partner. They practically depend their happiness and their security to their boyfriend. They will rationalize their jealousy as a sign of love- “I won’t get jealous if I don’t feel any love for you.” These are the common lines of a defensive jealous partner.
But most of the time they will deny they are jealous. They are too proud to admit they are jealous. Jealousy can put a strain in every relationship if not dealt with properly. It will eat you up until it will break you. It’s like having an invisible cage around you.
Jealousy is very heavy for the mind and emotion and the worst part is you’re pulling your partner down with you. It’s a pure and utterly selfish act. If you sincerely love your partner and want to be in a blissful relationship, you have to grow up. You have to deal and conquer your insecurities and selfishness issues.
The first healthy thing to do is to let the sunshine in- shed some light into yourself. Appreciate yourself. Recognize the good thing in you- list them down and say you are blessed and you are a beautiful person. A beautiful person within sees the beautiful things around them. A happy person is a good person- this develops self- independence, leaves you no room for jealousy.
Now that you have recognized how blessed and worthy you are, take care of it. Do things that make you feel good- inhale positive emotions and exhale the negative ones. Pamper yourself, get a new haircut, a relaxing massage… generally, if you feel good outside the inside usually follows. Be attractive outward and inward.
Yes, you feel good and attractive but admitting you have imperfections and accepting that whole heartedly feels much- much better. Being honest to yourself makes you more aware and prevents you to be irrational. Being rational means being less jealous. Yes, you have flaws and you can be vulnerable at times.
You can’t change overnight but the good news is you are willing to work it out. Now that you have learned to communicate with yourself, you can now communicate openly with your partner. Be open with him- tell him you get jealous at times when you see him talking to his pretty co- worker or his business partner.
If he assures you that you have nothing to be jealous about, take his word for it. Learn to trust, it’s a really good feeling. All the things mentioned above are not as easy as it seems, you have to be willing to take risks and compromises. Especially for those people who are scarred- people who have been deeply hurt, where trusting can be a major step to take.
But don’t let a painful past drag you deeper. You have to start somewhere. It will be worth the risk. Learn to love yourself-it’s really good for you.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
Share this article
You may reprint this article in its entirety on your web site, newsletter or ezine, providing you leave the About the author sections intact. You may not alter the contents.
|
|
