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Tags: relationships, conflict, mend a broken heart
 You can’t plan everything, life can be pretty random. And one of the things in life that you can’t prepare is a nasty break up. You should’ve seen the break up coming, but you didn’t because your ex wait for you to get relaxed and get comfortable before he pick the ice pick down between your eyes. It’s truly a painful process that you can’t wait for it to be done and over and move on.
When this happens, you can’t help but shout from the top of your lungs “When is this heartache going to end?” According to one study it takes 17 months and 26 days to totally move- on from a divorce, but what about a regular break up? How long does it take for a person to move on from a break up that does not involve lawyers and alimony? The answer, of course, is there isn’t any right answer.
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Though there are myths that it takes half of the duration of your relationship to mend a broken heart. So, if you were together for 2 years, it will take you 1 year to recover from a break up. While others believe in the one- third rule, which means that you are expected to be sullen for a third of the time that the relationship actually lasted. I was a bit hesitant to believe both of the ideas, because it took me years to recover from an eight-month relationship, but on the other hand, it just took me 60 days to totally get- over a two-year romantic affair. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the eight- month relationship was my first love.
I initially thought that there is a mathematical equation on how long it takes to mend a broken heart, dependent on the years together, the age, and whether it was your first love or not.
Then, I realized that there isn’t any equation for this sort of situation. But some believe that the general rule is that for relationships that were less than 24 months, it's practical to think that you’ll get over it in 6 months, but for relationships that lasted between 2- 4 years, add another 6 months to recover.
Personally, I believe that coping with a break up really is parallel with your coping mechanism- your emotional and mental maturity and deep understanding of who you are. First loves are relatively harder to recover because we don’t know how to deal with it yet. And another factor that helps speed- up the recovery of a break up is your support system. Having trusted and reliable friends and family play a major role in helping you mend your broken heart.
But what does “getting over” really mean? Why is it that some people cannot totally recover? I blame the whole notion to the idea of “the one.” Believing that your ex is the one meant for you, the one who got away.
I believe that getting over a break up is when you finally permit happiness and joy to take the place of the emptiness that your ex created. To you finally stopped hoping that one day the phone will ring and it’s going to be him.To finally break- free and enjoy what life has to offer.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published an easy to follow course on how to get your cheating spouse back. Click here to get more info about Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.
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