 |
Tags: relationships, conflict, snoop
 Snooping is probably one of the biggest mistakes one can make in a relationship. Most of us are guilty of it, although some would rather die than admit it. At one point or another, most people resort to digging through a partner’s personal effects, trying to find proof because of suspicions.
Sure, you might unearth a 10 year-old innocent love letter to build your case on, but it won’t be the cause of conflict in your relationship—your snooping will, for sure. The evidence that you found will hardly matter, because the real crime is your snooping, which could harm and even break your partner’s trust.
advertisement
Is snooping normal? Probably, because most of us are curious about our loved ones. The desire to be absolutely sure that we can really trust the person who holds our heart is normal. If our partner is not being honest or faithful, we worry that we will end up with a broken heart.
Often the process of invading a loved one’s privacy is caused by a nagging curiosity and a belief so great that one simply can’t help but snoop. In order to prove that one’s intuitions are correct, he/she might go through a partner’s private papers, desk and private drawers; checking through phone call lists, breaking into his/her email and viewing one’s online activities are also common.
Rummaging through a lover’s personal belongings can automatically flip a mental switch in one’s head, and searching for an artefact that can be used as evidence that the other person has been actually deceptive becomes a goal. If one finds a proof, no matter how innocent, it can still be turned into something major.
And, it’s not surprising if you find something you don’t like, because that’s what you have been looking for in the first place. Do you actually think that digging out your partner’s private life will help your relationship? Actually, no. It will only cause harm, and don’t be shocked if your significant other is completely irritated with your snooping.
If you thought that unveiling his/her “sins” would make your lover to break down, beg forgiveness and reaffirm his/her love for you, then you’re in for a shocker. Things rarely usually turn out this way; instead of being more open with you, your partner will only retreat into more isolation.
So whose fault is it if you can’t go inside your partner’s emotional doors? There are no locked doors in a healthy and loving relationship. There are no hidden secrets from one another, and no cause for future snooping. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a personal life; it simply means that neither is hiding things nor keeping secrets in purpose.
As a result, trust can flourish up to the point that the other person will have no room for doubts and no desire to snoop. However, one doesn’t need intuition to figure out if a partner is up to something. There are a lot of telltale signs of dishonesty that are easy to spot.
If you have reasons that urge you to snoop, discuss them with your partner. Every person deserves the benefit of the doubt anyway.
About the author
Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.
Share this article
You may reprint this article in its entirety on your web site, newsletter or ezine, providing you leave the About the author sections intact. You may not alter the contents.
Read other Conflict articles or visit our forum for additional information.
|
|
|
Free newsletter • Email this article to a friend
|
|
|
Previous 10 conflict articles:
|
|
|
I would love to hear from you what you think about my article. Please leave a comment below!
|
|
|
|
|
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU!
Welcome to my Relationship & Dating Blog. Here I will share my knowledge and experience with you.
I have been a Relationship Coach for many years, advising all kinds of people on how to find love and peace in their relationship. My methods worked so well that more and more people contacted me for coaching. At some point I was unable to attend each and everyone and decided to go public with my knowledge and help as many as possible.
Without the right information and resources people tend to lose track of the things that really matter in life. My mission is to coach you and create the right conditions for a stable and compassionate relationship.
First step for you to take is to sign up for my weekly newsletter for free. I'll be happy to coach you. Let's get starting!
Ruth Purple, Relationship Coach
Relazine.com
|
|
|
|
