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Tags: relationships, dating, cyber dating
 It used to be that dating—that age old mating dance we humans engage in— evoked images of candlelit dinners followed by long, romantic walks; of parked cars in a drive thru movie; of a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates. The woman painstakingly makes herself beautiful; the man shows up at the door and wines and dines her.
At the end of each encounter, they grow increasingly enamored with each other and both live for the next dalliance. Alas, this old fashioned way of dating may soon become obsolete. Just as digital phones kicked those analog monstrosities to obscurity, so is traditional dating getting elbowed out by a newer and faster version of hooking up with someone.
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This version is called cyber dating. More popularly known as online dating, cyber dating has come a long way from its humble beginnings 40 years ago. What started as a college experiment has boomed into a multi-billion dollar industry, thanks to the pervasiveness of internet. In this hectic modern world where instant gratification is a personal god, the idea of instantaneous connection with that special person without wasting time—and lipstick— on the unworthy ones is simply irresistible.
It is no wonder, then, that millions flock to find love online. But is cyber love suitable for everyone? What issues should one consider before hurtling into cyberspace in the quest for THE ONE? Cyber dating, like its traditional counterpart, is the first step towards forging potentially meaningful relationships with someone.
But while the latter affords rewarding avenues of self-expression, the former has to rely on words and emoticons (emotion icons) to convey joy, affection, anger, or frustration. If one is satisfied being kissed and hugged by animated yellow faces, good for him. If, however, one longs to feel the warmth of an embrace and the heat of a lover’s kiss, one might find online encounters sorely wanting.
A person's dating preferences is a another factor to be considered. Some people have no problem being on house arrest—an inevitable consequence of online liaisons especially when privacy becomes an issue—while others can get understandably claustrophobic. Virtual relationships thrive on Instant Messaging (IM), E-mails, and synchronized video chatting and conferencing which unfortunately require someone to sit in front of a computer for hours on end.
If one would rather go bungee jumping than lounge around the house like a caged animal in pajamas, cyber dating might not work for him. Another concern, and perhaps the most decisive, is one's emotional readiness. The virtual world’s most appealing feature-anonymity- is also its greatest downfall. While some ‘netizens’ may be true love seekers, most are in the web just to indulge their greatest fantasies.
Thus, a balding, pot-bellied middle aged man can create a 20-something abs-of-steel persona; a plain but bored housewife can become a seductive dominatrix online; a married father-of-three can pose as a single guy up for anything. This misrepresentation, justifiably, can lead to failed expectations and broken hearts. Online relationships can also aggravate—or worse breed—obsessive, compulsive behavior.
In the absence of tangible visual, auditory, olfactory, and tactile emotional cues needed for gaining trust, a cyber dater relies heavily on the imagination. If someone has a tendency to fixate on a partner’s life outside the computer screen, online dating is not his wisest choice. Clearly, cyber dating is not for the fainthearted.
It takes a strong willpower, and even stronger ESP, to weed through the cunning prevalent in the internet. It is less gratifying than conventional dating yet requires a lot more work. If you can not be bothered with the task, try taking a dog, or two, for a walk instead.
Who knows, today might just be the day you get entangled with THE ONE.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Male Magnet Formula. Discover how to attract men like a magnet.
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