Come On Baby, Light Our Fire: How To Win Women In The Dating Game

Tags: relationships, dating, dating women

In the dog eat dog world of dating, competition has just turned even fiercer. With the increasingly liberal views being adopted towards sexual orientation, more and more people are scrambling out of their cubbyholes. As a result, women are not only competing with other women to get the men, gay men have joined in the fray.

Similarly, men are not just deflecting fellow manly beasts from catching women; they have to compete with lionesses after the same booty. When a man considers a recent study finding that more gay females are “out” to their families than gay males, he should quake in fear. Now, more than ever, he should get his act together and figure out what really turn a woman’s switch on, if he is to survive the dating game.

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So, what makes a woman tick? Clue: you won’t see it looking in the mirror. In a twist worthy of Poirot, it turns out that women are focusing more on what is inside a man’s head than what is in his pants. Honesty and sincerity are the biggest turn on for a woman.

This may come as a blow to those who have perfected the ‘bad boy’ image they have been using to snare unsuspecting females. But while it is true that a woman initially—and there’s the operative word— gravitate to the broody, angst-ridden man with an emotional baggage the size of China and the fidelity quotient of a 4-year-old, such broodiness will soon drive her crazy and reduce her to a quivering mass of insecurity.

Women today are done being lied to and trodden upon—they want transparent relationships that validate their worth, and from which they can take out as much as they put in. Only honest, sincere men can rise to that challenge. Besides, broodiness is better suited to the ‘weaker’ sex. Confidence is another turn on.

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and women see that line a mile away. A confident man is someone who knows himself and is not afraid to show it. He is determined but not overly ambitious; knows what he wants and goes after it, but not ruthlessly so.

He is the antithesis of the macho man with an inflated ego who can not stop talking about his job, his car, and his bank balance. A man with confidence is compelling; the blown up Mr. Macho just repels. That clichéd manly trait called sense of humor also presses a woman’s button.

There is nothing more refreshing than a man who can crack a joke, but who can be self-deprecating and can laugh at himself at the same time. Conversely, a stiff, humorless man is just a bore. Being a good listener is also another way to a woman’s heart for the obvious reasons—women love to talk, and we need an audience.

But a woman also appreciates a raconteur—a man should watch, however, that he doesn’t talk about sports and cars all day, and that he doesn’t outtalk her. Women also get turned on by men who look like their fathers—well, not physically, because that would be too incestuous—as espoused by Carl Jung when he introduced the Electra complex.

Colloquially termed Daddy issues, this simply states that a daughter’s relationship with her father shapes her future mating choices. If a man wants a woman, it’s the daddy, not the mommy, he should impress.As can be seen, there seems to be a shift in women’s perception of what is sexy and what is not, and personality—not looks—is winning.

This is not to say that we can’t appreciate a well-formed derrière, or Brad Pitt. But given a choice between a decent, honest, fun-loving Jim Carrey and a boorish, jewelry-wearing, mirror-checking Brad Pitt, we would take Jim Carrey, anytime.

About the author

Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

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