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Tags: relationships, dating, sex on the first date
 I remember this one time my girlfriend Hannah and I were out on bar having a few drinks. We were having a blast talking about lots of stuff when suddenly she froze, looking stunned and shocked as if she had seen a ghost. Without saying a word she stood up and ran into the ladies room.
I was disoriented for a while with all the commotion. I calmly stood up and went to the ladies room and asked her if she’s okay and what happened. “Did you see that guy in the blue shirt that just came in with a couple guys? I went out with him a couple of weeks ago and it didn’t turn out well.” So after spending nearly an hour inside the ladies room and sneaking in the bar’s kitchen and out the back door, she finally got out and transferred to a gay bar where “there’s no threat of any heterosexual enticement.” As the night progressed and after a few shots of mojitos my girlfriend told me the whole story of what happened between her and the guy in the blue shirt.
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“I had sex on the first date with him” she said. “I don’t usually do it on the first date maybe that’s why I was so embarrassed. I just don’t feel comfortable seeing him because it reminded me of how stupid I was. It was like I’m in the twilight zone where everything seems unreal.
I believe I was in the state of temporary insanity at that time because for a while there after one night of body slamming, I really believed he was the perfect guy for me until he stopped returning my calls.” After hearing this, I wondered if all women who had sex on the first date had the same after effect- self remorse and mortification.
Why is it that when men do it on the first date they are being regarded as “the man” but when women do it on the first date, men and most women usually see them as promiscuous and well, slutty? I guess whether we like it or not in spite of the “sexual revolution” double standards still exist.
I’m not much of a fan of double standards. I believe that you should and should not have sex on the first date depending on your reasons and sense of responsibility. I believe that if doing it on the first date makes you feel bad about yourself then don’t even think about it.
If you have certain expectations like a call or a love letter or special treatment after that then forget it. If you think that you will not get pregnant or get some sort of std then you better think twice before sleeping with a stranger on the first date. Most importantly, if you think that sleeping with him will make him love or like you more, then think again, it doesn't usually work that way.
As long as it is consensual and you have no hang ups or issues about it afterwards, then why not? As long as you are not a know-it-all-teenager then go ahead. As long as you are in control of yourself and be safe about it then go and have your taste of that carnal pleasures.
Sex and the decision to do it are very personal, as long as you know the consequences that go with it then who are we to judge. Going back to the question- Should you do it on the first date? Sure, as long as you have what it takes to handle it.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Male Magnet Formula. Discover how to attract men like a magnet.
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