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Tags: relationships, divorce, unwanted divorce
 Making a marriage work requires both partners to be devoted in the relationship. But, when things are constantly far from rosy, it is only a matter of time when one of the spouses would reach the point of wanting a divorce when the other is still trying to find achievement in the relationship.
The husband or wife will start to act or express verbally his/her frustrations and discontentment, which is very likely to cause the other to feel a myriad of mixed emotions. It is very devastating to find one’s self in the middle of a divorce that has been initiated by one’s spouse.
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It can be even more devastating if an affair or a relationship with another person causes the divorce, which is not at all an uncommon occurrence in a lot of marriages today. And, when the unknowing spouse is still in love with the other even when the papers are already served, the usual reaction would be that of total desperation and misery, willing to do almost anything that just might change the spouse’s mind.
When this happens, it would be wise to take things seriously and take action because let’s face it: people don’t typically file for a divorce out of impulsiveness. It would be prudent to ensure security for one’s own interests, especially one’s mental health. Dealing with an unwanted divorce can be tough, particularly if the whole reality of the situation hasn’t totally sunk in yet.
One moment you will feel sadness, the next time you will be so desperate to get your spouse back and agree to just about anything, even to his terms of divorce which can leave you bone-dry. It is painful indeed, but it is of utmost importance to be level-headed and see things with one’s head instead of the heart.
Understand all the legal issues and refer to a counsel before signing anything, and be wary of whatever your soon-to-be ex spouse will say because he might just be lying for his own interests. The fact that the person you thought you’ll grow old with has suddenly stopped loving you can shatter one’s ego to pieces.
But, it hardly means that it’s the end of the world and everything else for you. Life would still go on no matter what; it only takes a lot of time for all your pain and suffering to start healing. Getting up on one’s feet again can be terrifying, but you don’t really have to do it by yourself.
Family and friends are there to lend a helping hand or even just a sympathetic listening ear. However, some people would rather talk it out with a professional counselor, because it’s easier sometimes to pour everything out to a stranger rather than to a family member. An unwanted divorce is always awful, and affects a lot of people very much like a loved one’s death.
Feelings of low self-worth and depression are all very common, but these will eventually pass. Life will always go on, and time will come when you’ll realize that the relationship wasn’t that good. There is always a rainbow after the rain, even after an unwanted divorce.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook Breaking Free From Break Up. Learn how you can get your life back after a break up in 21 days - guaranteed!
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