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Decoding Men�s Language: What He Says And What He Really Means

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:29:43 +0100

Most men are good in articulating that they think, but when it comes in articulating what they feel, they just totally send a different meaning.

Decoding a man’s language and knowing what he really wants and can save you a lot of conflicts and confusions.

So I got some of my best guy buddies to teach me decode their language and let me in on what they truly mean.

Here are some common phrases of what he says and what he really means.

Dating Stage

What he’s saying: �We should hang-out sometimes.�
What he means: �I think you’re hot and I want to ask you out, but I’m afraid you’ll say no.�

What he’s saying: �You’re really a good person.�
What he means: �I’m sorry, babe but you’re not going to see me again.�

What he’s saying: �Let’s be friends.�
What he means: �You are not really my type, but I really think your friend is hot, can you hook me up?�

What he’s saying: �I’ll call you.�
What he means: �I may or may not call you at some point between two days and two months from now.�

What he’s saying: �My ex is just way crazy.�
What he means: �I really messed her up bad, and she is really upset.�

What he’s saying: �We should date exclusively.�
What he means: �I’m afraid that if I don’t say that, you’ll date someone else.�

What he’s saying: �That guy seems to be a good friend of yours.�
What he means: �What there a thing between you and him?�

Something Sex- Related

What he’s saying: �Isn’t this our third date?� or �Is it just me or is it hot/ cold outside� or �What time do you usually wake up in the morning?� or �Do you really believe what they say about oysters?�
Real message: �I WANT SEX!�

What he’s saying: (In the middle of a sexual act) �I love you�
Real message: �I love that thing you do with your tongue/finger/body right now.�

What he’s saying: (after the sex) �I’d really love to see you the place where I group up in.�
Real message: �Are you comparing me to your ex?�

Relationship Issues:

What he says: �I really like you.�
Real message: �I love you.�

What he says: �I think we need to slow down.�
Real message: �You need to slow down, girl.�

What he says: �I’m confused now. I’m not sure what I want.�
Real message: �I don’t want you.�

What he says: �I need some space.�
Real message: �I want to break-up with you, but I don’t know how.�

What he says: �I love you.�
Real message: �I think you’re the ONE.� About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Why Things Don�t Work Out: The Truth About Bad Habits And Cheating

Sat, 6 Mar 2010 09:23:45 +0100

It’s no secret that bad habits can hurt one’s marriage. But U.S. Government National Institute of Child Health and Development made a study of more than 160 relationships in Louisville University to back it up. Their study revealed that if you have nasty habits, your partner can never get used to it. The more times you repeat it, the more irritated your partner becomes.

Most husbands and wives view bad habits as lack of respect and this can result to lack of romance or �Deromanticisation.� And �deromanticisation� can trigger a spouse to cheat. This links bad habits to bad divorce. Studies showed that women suffer from their husband’s crudeness and violating behavior norms, while men complain about their wife’s inconsideration and intrusiveness.

In order to prevent a nasty habit from breaking your marriage apart, you have to be aware of the things that you are guilty of.

In no particular order, here are some of the bad habits that can grow into monumental issues in your relationship.

Lack of personal hygiene.
Picking your nose.
Passing gas.
Burping.
You use the fork as a back-scratcher.
Not flushing the toilet after using it.
Leaving used clothes/underwear in the bathroom or bedroom.
Leaving wet towel in the bathroom or the bed.
Being like a slob.
Nagging.
Being possessive.
Being bossy.
Getting drunk.
Flirting to the opposite sex incessantly.
Spending way too much money.
Putting your dirty feet on the furniture.
Criticizing your spouse in public.
Embarrassing your spouse in public.��
Taking a long time to get to the point of the conversation.�
You paused the game he is watching and talk about something not sports related.�
SMS YOUR SPOUSE IN ALL CAPS.
Repeating your sentences twice.�
Saying, �Are you sure?� every time your spouse answers a question.
Returning the car with only enough gas to get out of the driveway.
Reading his email.
Messing up his office table.
Smoking inside the house or near your non-smoker spouse.��
Making humiliating remarks about your spouse.�
Borrowing excessively.�
Taking forever to leave the house.�
Deleting all his recorded shows on his DVR.
Cooking good meals for yourself, while you prepare PB&J for him regularly.�
When he does something annoying, you blame his parents.�
Being a backseat driver.�
You use sex as a tool for manipulation.

Once you realize that you are guilty of the several things mentioned above, know that you are hurting your spouse and your marriage. The obligation to change is all up to you. Think if your bad habits are worth keeping than your marriage.

To help you out, here are some quick tips on how to break bad habits.

Accept that you have bad habits that constantly hurt your spouse.
Believe that you can break bad habits if you want to.
Include your spouse in dealing with your bad habits.�
Change one nasty habit at a time.�
Tell your spouse that you need support not insensitive criticisms.
Share your goals and expectations concerning your bad habits to your spouse.�
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Slip- ups happen, but don’t give up.
Practice reward system.�

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Save Your Relationship: Watch Out For Hidden Relationship Traps

Sat, 6 Mar 2010 07:02:13 +0100

Often times we get to wonder why it’s so difficult to maintain a peaceful loving relationship. Why it’s hard to keep the fun and frolicking last for even a week. Why it’s impossible to have a month long of harmony in the relationship.

There are times when we get tired of feeling empty in an empty relationship.

This is what happens when we fall into hidden traps. It’s hidden, because we are unaware of the trap. It settles in our subconscious and manifests in our actions.

Here are the hidden relationship traps that you need to be aware of to help save your relationship. �

�The Too-Much- Familiarity Trap

When you’re with someone for quite some time, it’s easy to fall in this trap.

When you slide into this trap, you unconsciously take your partner for granted.

For instance, you don’t call when you are running late; you don’t say, �thank you� or �I love you� anymore; you boss your spouse around; you don’t go out on dates anymore; you don’t consult your wife’s opinion; you don’t hear her out and you put her needs at the end.

Believing that your partner loves you and knows you well enough, doesn’t give you an excuse to take your love life for granted. On the contrary it’s the perfect excuse why you should value each other.

Taking you partner for granted can become a deadly habit- deadly to your togetherness. It destroys the love, the respect and most importantly, your romantic connection.

When you feel that you’re sliding through this pitfall, make conscious effort to save your relationship. And if you see that your partner making these mistakes, make him/her aware.

The Pointing- Finger Trap

The Pointing- Finger Trap is the most convenient trap to fall in. Some people do it automatically as defense mechanism, while some do it consciously to make the other party guilty.

Either way you need to realize that blaming hurts your union, or sometimes end it.

Save your relationship by taking a step back when you feel like blaming your partner. Practice a lifestyle of self-accountability.

If you’re mature enough to get yourself involved in a relationship, then it’s just sensible that you learn to be responsible of your own actions.

The I-Am-The- Victim Trap.

This� snare is sneaky because you are unaware that you are already trapped and pushing your partner away.

You have fallen from this trap when your train of thoughts runs this way:

-�� Nobody understands me.�
-�� I’m not treated fairly.�
-�� I’m always taken for granted.�
-�� I am not appreciated.�
-�� I know I’m always right.�

These beliefs can make you feel defensive and difficult to deal with. You will see yourself constantly arguing with your spouse.

If you feel that you’re not being treated fairly or you are not appreciated, talk to your partner about it. Set realistic standards. Keeping it all in will make you bitter and unhappy.

How to save your relationship is all about looking inside yourself first. To see and realize if there are issues within you that is slowly gnawing your love affair to death.

Save your relationship, learn to avoid the traps.

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

How To Get Him Back Even If He�s Involved With Someone Else

Fri, 5 Mar 2010 06:32:55 +0100

Your greatest fear now realized- you can feel your airways tightening, your stomach aching and your head spinning. The love of your life, the only man that you can only see yourself with, has a new girlfriend. All hopes of happy ending now flushed down the drain.

And when things seemed down and out, this is where I come in and tell you to, �Stop crying, you can stop your relationship from falling apart� even if it seems too late.� �

Yes, you can get him back, even if he has a new relationship.

Here is my fail- safe formula on how to get him back.

First of all, remember that you know him better than anybody else. You had a bonding that will always be a part of him. You know his strengths and his weaknesses. This is your biggest edge.

�Keep your composure. Yes, you are terrified of losing him, but never ever show how fearful you are.

The best strategy to get him back is to keep calm and confident.

I’m sure that he will be very intrigued of how you will react, most likely he expects you to look devastated.

But when sees you all calm and confident, you will stir his curiosity.

And when curiosity is stimulated, you’re on the right track!

So, the next time you bumped into him, with or without his new girl. Look fabulous, relax, SMILE and be accommodating. But don’t overdo it or else you will look phony. Appear totally happy and okay� he will be wondering what you are up to.

Never rush the situation. Go with the flow because time is your ally.

�During these circumstances, time is your friend because�

-�� He has more time to see you in a positive light.
-�� You have less stress to get him back.
-�� You have more time to prove to him that he is better off with you.
-�� The more anxious, impatient and threatened that other woman gets.

�Whatever happens, never close your communications. This is your key to get him back.

There so many situations that you can take advantage of�

If you have kids- the school, PTA meetings, birthday parties, school plays and discussions concerning kids are the perfect excuses to see him.

If you don’t have kids- common friend’s birthday, wedding or funeral, relatives birthday, asking a friend’s number, and hand carrying his stuff to his house are great ways to have short perfect moments with him.

Remember that when you meet him, keep it short and pleasant. Don’t over expose yourself. Make him wonder about you. And never ever satisfy his curiosity.

Talk about wonderful things and insert the amazing things in your past in the conversation.

Tell him how you feel without looking desperate.

This takes a lot of guts, but this is something that you must do. Tell him that you need him because you love him. Show him that you can live without him and you can move on but you’d rather not, because he is important to you, he is a part of you.

Rest assured that the other woman is showing all she’s got to prove to your man that he is loved and adored. Your edge is you know him and you know how to love him the right way. You already had a connection, a history, something that the other woman cannot compete with.

This is only half of the sure-fire way to get your ex back. Learn and get more information here on how to get him back.
� About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Cure His Commitment Phobia Now

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:35:54 +0100

For a single lady who is in a relationship for a long time, things can be totally frustrating. You want to tell your partner on his face to get down on his knees and marry you, but of course you can’t do that to a man.

Here’s how to get your man to commit:

To cure his commitment phobia, you need to make him feel that he can tell you anything without the risk of getting criticized and laughed at. Men need to feel that they are accepted no matter what. Men seek comfort, and when he sees that he can be comfortable with you in all aspect, he’s yours forever.

You can cure his commitment phobia if he sees that you love him for �him� not his money, not his car, not his house, not his degree. Show him that you are interested in him by knowing his likes and dislikes, his passion and his inspiration.

You can cure his commitment phobia if he sees you as a sincere person. Ask any guy around and they will tell you that what they don’t like most are women who pretend to be somebody they are not. If they find out that you have been faking who you really are, you make them question your intentions in the relationship.

You can cure his commitment phobia if you made it clear to him that he can keep his freedom, (in a certain degree, of course). Freedom equates masculinity for a man. And masculinity is everything to a man. Most of them believe that once they are committed, they will lose their freedom/ masculinity.�

You can cure his commitment phobia if you don’t let him do and spend so much for you. If the balance becomes way off, he will one day wake up and ask himself, �What am I getting into?� and this is not good for you. Try to be more considerate and sensitive.�

Resorting to jealousy tactics to make him commit will not cure his commitment phobia. For men, loyalty is everything. They ask nothing more than a woman’s loyalty. And when you let him question your loyalty, you’re back to zero.

Insist on monogamy. Some women may be too scared to demand monogamy from their man, especially in the early part of the relationship, but a woman who demands monogamy is a woman with good standards� and that is always a �plus points� for men.�

Life For Rent: Confessions Of A Mistress

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:52:20 +0100

The mistress, you can’t hate her enough. If you can skin and burn her alive, you know you would. You can’t help but be overwhelmed with anger.

But stop, pause and ask yourself- is all that hatred and anger worth it? �When a wife gets into all kinds of trouble to get even, she is only acknowledging the mistress’ role. The mistress feels recognized, accepted. It’s kind of twisted when you think about it, but a mistress feels fulfilled in some way when a wife confronts her. The moment you face her, she feels triumphant�� says a Sandra, a former mistress. �Never exhaust your energy on the mistress you are only wasting it�� she continues.

Sandra tells all�

�I was a mistress for three years, until I got really hurt. At first, I was in it for the fun and excitement. I was really attracted to him. I knew he was married for 10 years, but he said it was shaky and he was not happy anymore. During that time I really felt sorry for him for being trapped in a lousy marriage. When we were together I can see that he was having a time of his life. As time went by he told me that his wife was starting to suspect and that we should lay low for a while. We saw each other under his terms� only when �it’s safe.’ Believe me, it was really frustrating. I felt used. This is just one of the thousands of disappointment I had to endure.

When you are a mistress you:

�� Can’t go out on public with him.

�� Can’t be with him during holidays.

�� Can’t help feeling jealous when he dates his wife.

�� Have to get used to broken promises.

�� Can’t help feeling used when he leaves you and go home to his wife.

�� Can get tired of the sneaking and fear of getting caught.

�� Can’t totally trust him.

�� You can’t call on him but he can call on you anytime he wants.

�� You are the first one to go when finances are tight.

Somehow I learned to cope with this. But what really broke me into pieces was when he sent me a text message telling me that his wife knew. �I can’t see you anymore. I’m really, really sorry. My wife is going to file for divorce when we continue to see each other. I can’t afford that to happen. I am really sorry. Goodbye. Please don’t reply.’� This was his exact mobile message.

I was so pissed off that I called his house asked for his wife and spilled everything about the affair. But I was stunned and shut to silence when the wife laughed and answered. �I’m sorry, dear. I have a husband and children to take care of. Have a nice day �’ she put the phone down and never heard from them again. I never felt disgusted in my whole life.

If you are attracted to a married man- forget about it! If you are planning to have an affair- don’t! If you are in an affair- get out now! You will always be disposable. Value your life- find a good man. Never allow yourself to get used. If you are in an affair now, don’t think that your relationship is anything special, because in the end you still end up alone� and relationships are not supposed to be that way.�

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

7 Essential Things You Need To Know About The Other Woman

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:38:32 +0100

It was a very tragic incident- last July 4, 2009, a former NFL quarterback was found dead with several gun shot wounds, including one in head, on his sofa inside his condominium. Beside his body was another fatality, a body of a woman with one gunshot wound in her head and a pistol near her. It was a classic case of murder-suicide, policemen suspected. The slain Tennessee Titan’s quarterback, Steve McNair, will never again see his wife and watch his four boys grow- up. The woman found near his body was
Sahel Kazemi, a 20 year- old waitress and McNair’s mistress. Sahel shot Steve, then turned the gun towards herself and committed suicide. Although, this information still stands as unclassified, the fact remains, that Steve and Sahel are dead.

As a haze of confusion continues to permeate circumstances surrounding the tragic incident, a priceless lesson should be kept in mind. For husbands, think a million times before getting involved in an extramarital affair. And for wives, get out of your way to get all the essential information you need to know about the other woman. Your life, your husband’s life and your children’s safety, as well as financial security may depend on certain important information about the other woman.

The essential information that you need to know about the other woman is her:

Complete name. This is the basic information you need to know. You cannot access other information about her without knowing her complete name.

Address. Does she live nearby? Does she have access to your children? Being aware where the other woman lives gives you an idea on how to protect your family and property.�

Age. This plays a major factor in deciphering the predictability of your husband’s affair. Remember Amy Fisher? Joey Buttafuoco’s mistress? She was 17 years old when she went to Mrs. Buttafuoco’s house and shot her in the head.

Police records or history. Knowing this gives you an idea of the temperament of your husband’s mistress. With this information you can be warned if the other woman is mentally stable or not. Being aware of any police records or history of the other woman might save your life later.�

Motives. Knowing her motives can give you the upper hand in this complicated love triangle. What’s her reason in getting involved with your husband? Is it for money, job promotion, fun or love?

It has been rumored that the motive of Sahel- Steve murder-suicide incident was Saleh’s frustration to Steve not leaving his wife. Sahel was madly in love with Steve.

Financial Status. Knowing the financial status of the other woman can give you a head start in protecting your family’s money.

Reputation. Is she popular for being promiscuous? Does she have a history of being a home wrecker and dating married men? Being aware of this information can make you decide if you should start using protection when doing it with your husband or if both of you need to be tested for STD/HIV.

Information is power. The more you know about the other woman- who she is, what her motives are, and her background, the better equipped you’ll be in dealing with the situation.

Be sure that you gather all these information in total discreetness. You don’t want the other woman to know what you know. Don’t confront her and never attack her, this is not the right way on how to deal with the other woman. Use the things you have gathered about her for your family’s protection. Because she is not your concern, but your family About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

How My Husband Won My Heart Back: Confessions Of A Cheating Wife

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 04:10:51 +0100

It has been said that women are less likely to cheat but when they do, the affair can be really serious and intense. That’s because when a woman cheats on her husband, she is likely to have an emotional affair rather than a fleeting one night stand. And because of this emotional intimacy based extramarital relationship, the cheating wife is more likely to consider leaving her husband.

One woman shares her story about almost leaving her husband of ten years for another man. Learn how she saved her marriage and how she fell in love with her husband again.

�The year 2007 was a tough year for my marriage. This was also the same year I met Tim, my lover for nearly three years. He was also married with two children. And just like me, he was also looking for a breather from his stifling marriage.

Initially, I thought that extramarital affair helped improve my marriage. I demanded less from my husband, I never bicker, I never argue. I just couldn’t care less, if my husband was unavailable, I could always call on Tim.

The affair didn’t feel wrong. I never felt guilty. There was a point where I secretly consulted a lawyer friend about divorce. �Life is short...,’ I said. I was never ashamed of it. I even introduced him to some of my closest friends. With the pampering, the attention and the abundance of sex, I felt beautiful and sexy. Everything was going my way. I was happy� until the clandestine relationship became too complicated. It became more chaotic than my marriage. He became distrustful and I became very jealous. The fun disappeared.

We tried holding on to our extramarital relationship, but it became worst everyday. It was a slow and painful process, but I decided to let go.

I still think of him sometimes. I even tried calling him, but never did. It’s not worth it anymore. It feels good not being a �cheating wife.� I feel clean and decent. Being out of the affair made me feel good about myself.

But the big factor that made me refuse from even looking back to my double-life was the attention my husband showed. He gave me and my children a home, he made sure the bills are paid on time, the groceries are plentiful, and the children’s school expenses are well provided. He also made sure that we are safe and secure. That nobody would dare harm us or take advantage of us. But it was my husband’s decision to prioritize us that made a huge influence to never again become a cheating wife. His decision to provide, protect and prioritize made me appreciate him more. And from that, more pleasant things followed- the sex becomes an experience, we communicate better and we are having fun again.

I can’t believe that I cheated on my husband. I regret being a cheating wife. If I could turn back the time, I would never allow myself to get involve with another man.

I believe that when a husband learns to provide, protect and prioritize, his wife will never ever consider having an affair. Or if you want to get your wife back from infidelity, this is the good way to do it.

Now, only one question remains� should I confess to my husband and come clean? �

I don’t know yet� what do you think?�

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Thoughts About Confronting The Other Woman

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:45:05 +0100

Sometimes it feels so good to be bad and say, �I know I might regret it, but what the hell!� Sometimes crossing the line can make you feel justified� especially if you have been wronged by the person really close to you.

And nothing can push you to be a bad ass than being a victim of infidelity. I remember my next door neighbor burned all her husband’s clothes and run over the mistress’s puppy. She spent a night in jail, but she said, �it was worth it!� Yes, nothing can twist your healthy little mind and dissolve your conscience than being betrayed and cheated. �

When you are clouded with anger, you just can’t help but get even to the people involved in the betrayal- from your husband’s friends and their wives to the other woman’s friends and pets. Yes, you hate them all.

And nothing feels better than venting out all your hate and fury to the mistress- to confront her and tell her how filthy she is from wrecking your family. Confronting the other woman is like one big urge that you just have to do. That’s understandable. But as a certified relationship coach, I strongly advice against confronting the other woman. First of all, the affair happened between two consenting adults. This means that your husband chose to get himself involved in the clandestine affair in his own free will. So, confronting the other woman and telling her that it’s all her fault is very risky. She might dispute with you about this one and you might hear words that can only hurt you more. Nothing good can come out from confronting the other woman. It may feel good lambasting her later but sooner or later it will backfire on you. Your husband or other people might feel sorry for her instead of you.

You may not care what the other woman thinks or feels about you, but confronting her will only make you look desperate and silly. This will only add to your already overflowing self- remorse.

Don’t give the other woman the satisfaction of your presence.� Don’t go down to her filth, girl. Rise about the situation.� The best revenge is to have a great life. Take care of yourself. Even if you are shaken and lost, try to be in control. Let your husband see that you have substance and grace. Let him see your strength, from this he will see your worth and respect you for it� and that alone can make him realize his mistakes.

Keep in mind that the other woman is not your concern. Your concern is yourself and your family. Focusing your time and effort on her is a total waste of time. Don’t mock yourself with her presence. You are far better than her in all sense of the word.

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

For The Love Of Money: The Truth About Financial Infidelity

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 02:47:31 +0100

Financial infidelity, you may not know about it, but you may guilty of it. Financial infidelity is every bit as damaging to the relationship as the physical one. As one husband says, �It’s one thing to fool around. It’s another thing to fool around with my hard-earned cash.�

When money collides with marriage, all forms of lies occur- white lies, small lies, big lies. And once you are guilty of lying about money matters to your partner, you are guilty of financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is when you cease to be transparent about your finances to your partner. It is when you conceal your financial status to your spouse.

For instance, a small lie is when you bought something and told your spouse that you got it on sale when you didn’t. A white lie is telling your lover that you are going to visit your sick aunt, but actually spend your whole day in an expensive spa treatment. While concealing a five-figure credit card debt is definitely a big lie.

You can sometimes let go of the small and white lies, but a big lie can come as unforgivable. Not when your life’s savings and your children’s college fund are at risk because of impulsive spending. But still many of us find it hard to be transparent and truthful to our partner when money’s involved.

One great example is my friend, Jean, she works as a real estate broker. When she got a $30,000 bonus for making a great deal, she never told her husband about it. Her reason for not putting it in their joint account: �My husband is overly generous with his friends. He treats his friends like there’s no tomorrow and never let them pay the tab. It’s irritating!� Then there’s Tracy who confessed in sneaking �a $20 here and there� while paying the bills and uses it to buy something frivolous without telling her husband. And Tom hid his purchases from his wife to avoid arguing about money.

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner thinks it’s foolish to spend money on certain things, while the other partner thinks, �why not!�� How to deal with infidelity, in this case, financial infidelity is to discuss about spending limits and creating allowances. Personal and financial freedom is important that is why deciding to have a �slush fund� can cut down conflicts and unnecessary expenses.

You see, like all types of infidelity, communication is the only practical solution.� About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Your Perfect Match- Does He Really Exist?

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 07:40:43 +0100

There was a point in my life when I almost gave- up finding "the one." I told myself that I’d rather live alone than be with someone that I cannot live with. Settling was, is and always will be out of the question for me. I was not looking for the �perfect guy,� all that I was looking for was the perfect match. I wanted someone whom I can jive with and have decent conversation with. I needed someone that is compatible with me. I know that compatibility is not the �end all and be all� in a relationship, but some how, having the same wave length and being in the right frequency makes the relationship run smoothly. And the moment I knew the factors that help decipher my perfect match, that’s when I knew that Andy, the man I am living with for nearly ten years now was it.

I strongly believe that the perfect match for each woman exists. All you have to do is to know these factors that make you decipher your perfect match� and this is what I am going to share with you today�

How to find your perfect match is a matter of considering these factors:

Spontaneity. This refers to your love personality when you are attracted to someone. Do you instantly give out all affection no matter how briefly you know the person you are attracted to? Or do you analyze your feelings first and take your time knowing the before being demonstrative about your emotions?

Inner Vitality. How do you deal with your day? Do you face it with full vitality and pursue it with all determination and strength�or do you take it easy and derive pleasure in taking the moment and smelling the roses?

Beliefs. Your belief is all about your perception. People differ on how they see and interpret things and situations that come their way�so do you see the glass half empty or half full?

Consistency. Are you the type of person who loves going home to the same familiar surrounding everyday and see yourself growing old and having grand children in that same old surrounding you grew- up in, or do you prefer to have variety and diversity in life?

Adaptability. How do you handle your daily routine? Are you totally alright about how things are done as long as the results satisfy you? Or do you have certain levels of perfectionism and believe that certain things should be done in a certain way and a break in this routine gives you anxiety attacks.

Negotiating Technique. Are you the kind of person who can compromise or the type of person who cannot?

Temperament. How dramatic are you when it comes to your temper? Are you loud and intense or calm and collected?

Personal Fostering. How do you deal with yourself when you are having relationship trouble? Do you prefer to be surrounded with friends and family and pour out your anxiety or you prefer the solitude of being alone?

These are the factors that define your perfect match. The similarities and differences in certain areas mentioned above can help develop and nurture a relationship. Know which aspect you should have similarities in and which aspect you should differ, the e-book, �Wanted: Mr. Right� can give you all the information your need. Check- out the e-book and find out who your perfect match is!

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Bouncing Back From Infidelity

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:01:45 +0100

Sometimes life can be pretty funny- it throws you a curveball, hands you a lemon, or knocks you for a loop, but being aware how to approach failure can be the first step to success. In life and in relationships, it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you lived so guardedly that you might as well not have lived at all- in which case, you have failed by default.

You will never truly know yourself or the strength of your relationship, until both of you have been tested by adversity. And nothing can test the marriage more than infidelity. I truly agree that the bitterness that accompanies adversity are truly valuable lessons worth savoring, and if you look harder, sweet opportunity. Many couples survived infidelity, and they are now living a much
deeper and meaningful relationship. If they can bounce back from infidelity, you can, too.

Here are some tips on how to deal with infidelity:

�Don’t threaten to have a divorce. It may make you feel good to see that look in his face but divorce is a huge step to take and you need time to sort things out first. Give yourself time to think if you want to fix the relationship or not. Driving him away may draw him closer to the other woman. So if you are not sure of your next step, tell him that you can’t decide anything yet.

Don’t broadcast it to your family. If you are in an intense state of emotion, don’t tell your family first. You may need their emotional support, but telling them may aggravate the whole situation. When you tell a family member there is a tendency that he or she might demonize your partner. This situation can be awkward for you if you want to reconcile with your partner. The best that you can do when you found out about the infidelity is to confide to a trusted friend or a therapist. But be mindful not to give progress report- a friend can go weary, too.

Never tell the Children. Children are vulnerable. They are not programmed to cope and understand this kind of complication. They don’t need the extra worry. When it comes to your children, protect and secure them of your love.

Never confront the other woman. Confronting the other woman doesn’t help and it backfires. This will make her look like the victim and will make your man feel sorry for her instead of you.

Value yourself. Victims of infidelity are usually prone to self- destructive mechanisms like drinking too much, taking drugs, take revenge, or run around town and defame the name of your cheating partner. Your self-esteem has already taken a big hit; don’t add to it by acting in ways that you might regret later.

When you want to survive infidelity, you have to decide and make conscious effort to save your marriage. When you decide to save your marriage from infidelity, you have to make a decision to move on and not define your union with it. It may seem a painful road to take, but some things are just worth saving.

infidelity. I truly agree that the bitterness that accompanies adversity are truly valuable lessons worth savoring, and if you look harder, sweet opportunity. Many couples survived infidelity, and they are now living a much deeper and meaningful relationship. If they can bounce back from infidelity, you can, too.

Here are some tips on how to deal with infidelity:

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Dear Married Men: Keep Your Balls To Yourself

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 04:13:46 +0100

Extramarital affairs, it seems as if everybody’s doing it- Presidents, Senators, Governors, golfers, bosses, friends, cousins, family members� you thought, why not try the fun and excitement yourself. If they can do it, why can’t you, right? Well, if those people can give you a piece of advice, they will tell you right on your face to, �KEEP YOUR BALLS TO YOURSELF!�

Yes, extramarital affair can give you the thrill and �sexcitement� you have long been missing for. But believe me, from your pleasure; a hundred folds of pain will come back to slap you on the face. So, if you are thinking of getting involved in an extramarital affair, think a million times first. Here are some big reasons why you should avoid having an affair.

You can lose your family. Is it really worth it? All the fun and excitement in exchange for your wife and children?

You will lose your power and influence in the relationship. Practically, this means that your wife will never respect you, your children will no longer look up to you, you will lose your rights to decide in your own home, and you will be that voice that nobody listens to.

You will lose your credibility. Nobody will trust you again. People in your home and in your office will doubt every word that comes out of your mouth. Your colleagues will gossip about you, and your family members and friends will think what a jerk you are.

You will never have access to your own finances. Your wife will demand it and you can never say no. After your extramarital affair extravagance, you’re lucky enough to get a penny out of your pay check.�

�You will lose all your privileges and benefits. To say the least, you can never touch the remote, never go bowling or go out drinking with the boys. You can never use the car unless going to and from the office. But the biggest privilege you are going to be deprive of is the cookie� you will be lucky if you can touch the tip of your wife’s hair.��

You will lose your privacy. You will be required to give your e-mail password and phone log to your wife.

An ex-convict has more freedom than you. An ex-con is usually required to report to his parole officer regularly. In your case, you are required to report to your wife every thirty minutes or so with a curfew of 9PM.

You will be susceptible to blackmails. Remember David Letterman? If it happened to him, it can happen to you. Plus, there’s a huge possibility that the other woman will threaten you about the extramarital affair.

Extramarital affair, it’s really not worth it. I promise you, it always ends badly. No doubt, you will regret it. I guarantee you that the people you love and care will get hurt. So when you feel that your marriage sucks and you’re not happy, then face the problem like a man. Don’t have an affair! Extramarital affairs don’t lead to happiness, it destroys it.� About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Doable Ways To Affair Proof Your Relationship

Fri, 5 Feb 2010 08:50:30 +0100

According to studies, sixty percent of men and forty percent of women will have an affair at some point in their relationship. This statistic shows that people who stay loyal and faithful to their partner is a part of a growing minority.

Before I met my wonderful partner, Andy, I had my fair share of heartaches. I had learned what it was like to walk in the moccasin of being a cheated girlfriend. The experience really crushed me to bits that I vowed to never walk that path again.

From that horrible experience I made a decision to do everything in my power help other women survive the crashing effect of infidelity, which I put together in �You Can Get Him Back.�

Being a victim of infidelity, I learned that having an affair is not just about sex, but it’s all about the emotional connection. It’s about showing your personal and private self to others. It’s all about sharing intimate details and revealing information to another person for what you should be holding personal to your partner and continuing to put your time and energy somewhere else which drives you away- physically and emotionally� from your partner.

And because I want to prevent that awful experience from happening again and make my present relationship in the happy side of the statistics, I put together a number of relationship advice on how to affair proof your marriage.

Take conscious effort to appreciate. When you have tons of things on your plate - kids, deadlines, chores, and bills, you tend to overlook or sometimes neglect the hard work and efforts of your man. This is where men tend to stray. Men need that constant validation and appreciation from you. Affair proof your relationship by recognizing your husband’s effort. Thank him not only for the extra work he did at home, but for the hard work he did for you and your children. Never lose that sense of admiration and appreciation. The more you give and show appreciation, the more good things will come back to you.�

Give yourself extra time for intimacy and sex. Affair proof your union by making a connection through sex and intimacy. Squeeze in at least� forty-five minutes alone with your spouse. Lock the doors, sleep naked, cuddle, rough house, and frolic, be sensual to each other. �

�Have a conversation about cheating. Studies revealed that seventy- seven percent of men who strayed have a best friend who cheated. But instead of forbidding him from his cheating friend, have an open conversation about their itinerary.

�Have a regular date. To affair proof your relationship, it’s best that you should keep an open communication. You can do this by having regular dates, but there’s a rule- both of you should avoid talking about kids, money and business during your regular dates.

�Learn how to fight fair. When you fight, fight with a purpose. Do it to resolve the problem. Don’t fight for the sake of winning the argument or power play.

Don’t wait to for infidelity to plague your relationship. Affair proof your marriage now by making an effort to live a relationship- centered lifestyle. A blissful, faithful and fun relationship is very doable, just follow the relationship advice given to you and enjoy the love and companionship you truly deserve.

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.

Prevent Fighting, Prevent Cheating � Here�s How

Fri, 5 Feb 2010 08:26:02 +0100

When a relationship becomes a regular emotional and mental battle ground, it is most likely that either you or your partner will take refuge outside of your relationship. That is why it’s no surprise that one of the major causes of infidelity is the frequent fighting and arguing in the relationship.

But to be realistic about all this, there is no perfect relationship. Arguments and friction do exist in every union, but when chaos takes a whole part of your togetherness, then that’s when you need to be caution and take action to stop fighting if you want to prevent cheating.

To prevent cheating and save your relationship, take note of these relationship advice on how to prevent cheating.

Take an immediate action to stop the blame game. Seriously, if you want to prevent cheating, there is no point blaming each other. It’s a total waste of time. It blinds both of you from seeing the truth. The longer you point a finger, the longer you let the other person feel guilty, the longer you prolong the problem. So instead of saying, �This is all your fault�� or �You should’ve�.� say, �Its okay, what’s done is done� let’s just do something about this before it gets worse��

Is it really worth it? Before you start another shouting feat, think- is it worth all the energy? Is it worth the disturbance? List down the consequences of each fight brings- to your work, home, mind, body, and spirit.

Being happy is always better than being right. Sometimes you just have to smile and let it go� to just nod and give a hug. Even if you are absolutely certain that your money management is better than his, let it go. Be patient and just support him.

Choose the right words. Instead of saying, �You’re always out! You are so irresponsible�� say �I like being with you and spending more time with you, I wish that we could spend more time together. Is there any possible way you can squeeze in family time in you schedule?�

Avoid being a fault-finder if you want to prevent cheating. A fault- finder lives a very exhausting life. You owe it to yourself to stop this bad habit of looking for faults and mistakes. When you are plagued to criticize, stop and divert your attention to what you love, admire and appreciate about your partner.

�Let go of the grudges. Like the fault-finder, a person who carries a grudge lives a very heavy life. The best solution here is to let go of whatever mistake your partner did in the past.

Have common goals and desires. When you and your partner have one focus and one goal you have something greater that hold you together. This situation can help you step back for a while and assess if an argument is really necessary or not.

Stop talking behind your partner’s back. I know that it’s helpful to ask for clarity about your chaotic situation from a friend, but you have to be careful how you do it. Talking about your marital complains to other people will help you focus more on the things that irritates and annoys you about him.

Fighting is inevitable in every relationship. Just be sure that when you fight, you don’t lose the love and respect for each other. When you fight, do it for a solution, not for selfish reasons or power play. And most of all, never ever breed anger when you fight. Anger brings a long string of negativity in your relationship. So as much as you can, prevent fighting to prevent cheating.

About the author. Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Relazine.com. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to find love and compassion in your relationship.