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Tags: relationships, friendship, friends with you ex
 Breaking up is always an unpleasant episode especially if you’re the one being dumped. Nothing can make you feel rejected in all sense of the word than being dumped. The pain of the break up can be overwhelming; it can really change you into an untrusting individual. On the other hand, if you’re the one on the other side of the fence who pioneered the break up- your situation is just as unpleasant.
You are now the villain, the inconsiderate monkey who cause someone irrefutable emotional damage. Sometimes, this complicated emotions brought about by the break up can lead to solutions you thought are best for you and your ex. Both of you are thinking of being friends with you ex. Being friends with your ex, you think is the best solution especially if you’re the one who suggested the break up- it will not let you feel or look as bad for your ex.
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And for the one who has been broken hearted- you also think being friends with your ex can ease up the pain of his absence and at the same time keeping in contact with him or her will not be as heart breaking. You can think of so many things and reasons to justify your being friends with your ex but the truth of the matter is- it’s a bad idea to the maximum level.
Friends talk about all things under the sun; it’s a no halts- barred conversation about stuff, no inhibitions at all. And mind you, you have to listen, friends talk and listen. So, can you imagine telling your ex how frustrated you are with this girl you met and did not return your call after night of body slamming? Or can you imagine yourself pouring your heart out with the one night stand you had last night and experienced the best sex ever? Can you imagine yourself listening to the gory detail of your former lover’s sexcapades? Of course you can’t, it can either make you sick to your stomach or make you hate your former lover or yourself more.
And this is just the minor things you get to encounter if you want to be friends with your past guy or girl. Can you picture the scenario of your former guy bringing along with him his new girlfriend? You see them hugging and kissing right in front of you.
Can you handle them doing the PDA in your face? and that’s just in public, can you imagine him doing all the things that he use to do with you behind closed doors and now doing it to this new girl? That’s really got to hurt. Can you imagine shaking hands with this new guy who is now making the “hangky panky” with your former girl? No matter how you both justify it, it’s not a good idea to be friends, it’s really not.
It’s hard to move on when you see each other on a regular basis and update each other about new life’s happening. It’s just completely awkward and uncomfortable situation especially if what you had was a serious relationship and if the memory is still fresh. People are inherently possessive, it’s very difficult to see someone you use to have intimate moments with and share beautiful and “not so beautiful” times together being in the arms of a stranger.
Remember, slow and gradual death is much more painful than sudden death meaning its better to instantly cut any communication then give your self time to wallow in the pain of your relationship then move on. Breaking up doesn’t always mean an end of a relationship; it can sometimes mean a beginning of a new and better relationship with yourself and with a better person.
Trust in fate that everything works for the best of you.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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