For a lot of relationships, breaking up is an inevitable reality that must be dealt with quite often. It is hard to do, no doubt about it, but it must be done and got over with. What makes it extra painful is not seeing the other person go, actually, but the feeling that it has all been an utter waste of a lot of time and emotional energy.
Besides, the thought of never seeing or speaking to a loved one again is definitely scary, which is what makes a lot of couples believe that staying friends with the ex is better even after the decision that the relationship can never work. This is one bad breakup habit to break, especially for a lot of women who would rather have a platonic relationship than to lose someone completely.
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Surveys show that quite a lot of people go back to being friends with their ex. However, a lot of them only tried in vain—staying friends simply won’t work, just as the relationship won’t work. Yes, people do it all the time—but it doesn’t mean that the idea of post-relationship friendship is totally realistic.
It all depends on a lot of things: the nature of a couple’s romance, the level of commitment they had, the length of time that the relationship lasted, the whys and hows of the breakup, and of course if there are children involved. Turning your Ex into a buddy does not occur automatically as a result of the breakup.
It is something that needs to be mulled over carefully. Still not sure whether staying friends with your Ex is a good idea? Ask yourself these very important questions and decide whether you still want to remain friends or not: What kind of friendship will you have? We all know that there are different types of friends—there are friends you hang out with on Saturday nights, friends that you only bump into occasionally, and those with whom you can pour out even your innermost thoughts and emotions.
Which group will your ex fall under? Remember that the relationship you have is a bit complicated, so he/she may not fit neatly into any category. The point of the whole process of breaking up is to move on and get over the person. This clearly can’t be done if one’s Ex is still hanging around like a bad case of flu.
Can you resist getting physical with your Ex? Relationships often end because of irreconcilable differences of a couple. When this happens, there is a good chance that there is still an ample amount of leftover lust that can heat up a platonic relationship every time one or the other gets frisky.
Everyone knows that having sex with the ex is never a good idea: it only slows down the recovery process and puts one through an emotional wringer. Do you have any plans for a future romance with another person? Every person always has his/her own way of getting over a breakup.
It can be quite some time before some people can go out on a date again, but having a future romance will eventually happen. It won’t be an easy feat, however, to start a new relationship while hobnobbing around with a past lover. Getting together the past and present lovers can always sabotage a new relationship with needless jealousy and distrust.
Can you truthfully move on? Staying friends with the ex may feel like a good way to ease the pain of breaking up, but it can only prevent a person from truly moving on and start healing. It can definitely hurt knowing that you will no longer be a part of your Ex’s daily life but hey, just get on with it and start a new life that will do you good!
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Read more info about "Finding Your True Love" HERE.
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For a lot of relationships, breaking up is an inevitable reality that must be dealt with quite often. It is hard to do, no doubt about it, but it must be done and got over with. What makes it extra painful is not seeing the other person go, actually, but the feeling that it has all been an utter waste of a lot of time and emotional energy. 
