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Tags: relationships, gay lesbian, coming out of the closet
 Parenting itself is a tough job, how much more if you are in a non-typical parenting situation? One of the dilemmas of gay parents out there is telling their broods the truth about their sexuality. It is not only the parent’s job to protect their kids against harm but it is also their obligation to inculcate values and beliefs that makes them a better person someday.
And in order to do that, you have to be truthful and honest to your offspring. There are some secrets that you can keep for so long but a secret about your sexuality is something you cannot hide and cannot keep. You cannot deny the truth about your being. Most gays I know says that the issue is not to tell their offspring or not but how to tell them.
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If you have a partner, you should discuss together the plans and ways on how to tell your kids that you are a lesbian. One thing I always suggest before deciding something important is to weigh the pros and cons of telling your kids that you are a lesbian. The good thing about telling them that you are a lesbian is the value of being truthful and honest.
As I’ve said you cannot hide what you are, sooner or later they will find out the truth about you. Aside from being honest you will be able to instill the value of self-respect to them. Telling them the truth that you are a lesbian will send a message that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that it is not something to be ashamed of.
The disadvantage of being open that you are a lesbian is the risk of your children being discriminated and singled out by some people. It is important you tell your children that as long as they are not doing something bad there is nothing to be ashamed of. If you are divorced, then you have to consider the custody issues.
Consult your lawyer if the state you’re living in will allow gay parents to have custody in their children. And maybe it’s best to have the custody settled first before deciding in coming out of the closet to avoid further complications. Now that the pros and cons were discussed, let’s go on discussing the main issue of coming out of the closet.
In coming out of the closet to your children you have to consider their age. For young kids, it helpful if you don’t give to much information yet- you have to level with the capacity of your kids to absorb information. And be sure to keep the communication open because coming out of the closet to your children is a process.
Everyday as they grow they may have questions and clarification and expect tough questions as they mature. For the meantime, continue being a parent to them. Protect them with your love, understanding and respect. Shower them with time and attention and teach them the value of family because if you do, you don’t have to worry about the negative things being thrown at them because in their heart they know the truth and they know what matters.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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