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Tags: relationships, gay lesbian, gay
 In this day and age, we all have the impression heterosexuals are the minority. Anywhere we look gay people are everywhere- our closest friend, our neighbor, our co-worker, our doctor. There’s always one or more in the family- our cousin, our nephew, our uncle. They’re loud and proud, and so open about it.
But what if they are being discreet about it? How do we know a man is truly a man and not a woman in a mans body? What makes a man less of a man and more of a gay man? Usually, we stereotype homosexuals people as very loud, have a certain girlie twitch when striding, unusual flexed of the hands and sometimes it’s the way they fix their hair.
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People are inherently judgmental and stereotyping comes out naturally. If you want to find out your beloved boyfriend or husband is a homo, you have to get rid of being hypercritical and truly see your partner. There are men who are brought up to be very effeminate or what they call a “camp”- maybe because he was very close to his mom and grew up with three sisters around him emulating their actuations.
There are also men who what they call metro-sexual, a “fashionista” guy. These are men are overly concerned with their appearance; their clothes are iron-steamed, color- coordinated with accessories. They also wax their hair in unsightly areas and sometimes have their nails cleaned by a professional. How can you accurately tell he is gay? You can’t.
There are clues but it is not full proof. If you are very hesitant to ask him directly, then you have to harness your observation skills. When you are in a specific area and a couple comes in- a boy and a girls- does he look at the boy first or the girl? Also keenly observe the way he looks at the boy.
If he is eyeing him up and down and stares for a while in the crutch area and turned his head to check out the butt? If he does, then maybe you can say that he is more interested with the boy than the girl. Check out his interests, his taste in music.
Does he have a complete record of Diana Ross and/ or Spice Girls? His taste in movies- Is “Brokeback Mountain” top of his favorite movie in the list second to “Precilla- Queen of the Desert” and “To Wong Fu, With Love”? When you sneak under his drawers, do you see piles of gay porno and play girl magazines.
When you check out his computer and click the “history” button- do you saw gay porn sites? Then it’s time push that gay alert button. Because he is, honey. No man in his right mind would have stuff like that lying around or even have the time to surf about gay porn in the internet.
There is also certain factors like- he doesn’t really like kissing much, doesn’t initiate in sex much and doesn’t perform oral sex to you. Do some history taking- talk to one of his classmates from college, if one or more of them is surprised to know he got married because they believed without a doubt he’s gay and he got married to stop the suspicion that he is homosexual.
He is gay. But knowing the facts doesn’t change the facts. Yes, you have the right to be angry for the betrayal part but being angry about his being gay is absolutely unfair. It’s not his fault if he is the way he is. Gay people are people- they have feelings, they get hurt, they also make mistakes, they have issues and flaws, too.
Like the rest of us, they also crave acceptance, unconditional love and belonging. We are human beings and we should look out for each other.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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