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Tags: relationships, love, fear and love
 They say in everything we do, in every decision that we make, either of the two are your only motives behind it- fear and love. Believe or not distinguishing between the two can be very confusing. The best way that we can do is to define the difference between fear and love.
The former is characterized by an unpleasant feeling that something tragic is going to happen. With it your heart beats fast, your blood pressure rises, your pupils dilate and your muscles constrict. There are two kinds of anxiouness- healthy and unhealthy. The former is actually helpful, for instance you quit smoking because your husband has chronic asthma.
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You worry that your smoking might trigger his asthma attack that’s why you quit smoking. Another example of is when you work so hard on your marriage because of you are frightened of divorce. You take conscious effort in yourself to become motivated and complete as a person for your loved one and your marriage.
Your apprehension is powered by your deep concern and care for your significant other and your relationship. This is fear and love working productively. Healthy kind is minimal anxiousness- this allows you to think and prevent certain danger or worst case scenarios. This is constructive and beneficial. This also what they call controlled worries, it is because the apprehension you’re feeling is valid and real.
Wherein in unhealthy anxiousness, where you lose control and the reasons are unrealistic. It can be very debilitating and can stop you from functioning. It prevents you from becoming a healthy, efficient human being. Example of it is fear of death, rejection, getting old, and losing control. It is very unhealthy when you are frightened with something inevitable or something that cannot harm you.
Like being horrified with spider and small places or spaces. These are extreme and irrational worries that thwart you from living a healthy normal life. For example, you are horrified by being alone that is why you are frightened by divorce. Instead of doing something productive to yourself or for your relationship, you become abusive and do everything in your power to degrade your partner.
You instill fear, you threaten your partner to stay in your marriage. In this case fear and love doesn’t work harmoniously. It is irrational and illogical apprehensions that over powers compassion. With regards to love, it is something that you live for. As mentioned before it is not just a mere feeling it is an act.
It has four kinds. Storge, this is a profound affection given by a parent to a child. Agape is characterized by selfless act. Philia is platonic affection for other people, like in friendship and companionship. While eros is all about romance, this is driven by our desire and your will to be with the person you want to be with.
In eros, the symptoms of love and fear are somehow the same, your heart beats fast, your blood pressure rises, your pupil dilates and your muscles constricts. Compassion should surpass any kind of doubts, healthy or unhealthy. In fear and love- it is the latter that should prevail. In fear and love- it is not the former that should take control.
So asses your motives in your relationship between fear and love if it’s the latter then you have nothing to worry about. It is when you are not afraid to let go and live, love is when you don’t need to be afraid of the unknown because you know there is nothing to be frightened of when it is compassion that drives you.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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