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Tags: relationships, love, tolerance and acceptance
 It was another hectic day at work; Neva came home and saw her lover, Bien looking irritated. Neva, worried, asked Bien what seemed to be the matter. “I think we should buy a new television, I saw this lcd-screen, and high definition television and it’s awesome! This old one is a mess” Bien said.
Neva tried to contradict him but Bien raised his voice and had his usual tantrums. The next day, a new television was delivered to their pad. When I had the chance to talk to Neva, I asked her why she gave in, even when she didn’t think a new TV was necessary.
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Her answer was straight “It’s simple, I love him and I cannot stand to see him upset, hurt, or disappointed. I will do whatever it takes to make him happy. I want to make him feel that he can’t ask for more.” I know a lot of women can relate to Neva.
Like her, when you are head over heels in love with your lover, you will do anything to make him happy. But when do you draw the line? When you know that you are turning him into a spoiled brat. You know you are turning him into a spoiled brat when he tries to rationalize that his actions even if they are downright wrong, impractical or even abusive.
When you treat him like a kid even though he acts like someone who doesn’t know how to control himself or be logical about his actions then you are definitely turning him into a spoiled brat. “I cut myself from cleaning the broken glasses the last time Rick was mad and smashed some of our stuff because he didn’t like my cooking but he is terribly sweet in his good days.
Well, you can’t have everything, right?” Anne is not talking about her three- year old son. She is, as a matter of fact, talking about her three- year live- in partner, Rick. You know you are turning your partner into a spoiled brat when you do not let him see, feel and show the consequences of his actions.
I remember this one couple, Andy and Susie. Andy is a certified car enthusiast and for the “Nth” time, Andy has bankrupted their retailing business because he spent all their savings on buying a car every time a new model comes out. Instead of talking things out and straightening his “car” habit, Susie, coming from a well off family, borrowed money from her parents again to salvage her lover’s predicament.
Another sure thing that you are turning your lover into a spoiled brat is when you are worried that your partner will leave you if you upset him. If you feel that you are not good enough as a person when you disappoint you partner then you are not driven by love, you are driven by your fears and insecurities.
Over tolerance and acceptance can turn both of you into monsters and your relationship into a chaotic and distressing place to be. Too much of everything is damaging and this includes tolerance and acceptance. When you truly love the person, even if it hurts you, you need to be tough if you know it’s for the best.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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