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Tags: relationships, marriage, cheating spouse
 When a wife discovers her husband is cheating, she is overwhelmed with all depressing emotions you can think of- confusion, regret, anger, sadness, fear, loneliness, low self-esteem, revenge and everything else in that category. If you’re a wife who is in this situation right now or has a feeling you are being cheated by your “good for nothing” husband- pause and breathe.
Don’t do anything until you are done reading this article. It’s going to be very difficult and it’s not going to get any easier but you should not let emotions rule right now. Don’t let the anger and revenge overwhelm you. Your cheating spouse have made you look like a loser that is why you have to prove him wrong.
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Let him see and feel you’re angry but make sure your anger is guided with inner strength and calmness- controlled. This will scare him more. The first few days and weeks may be the most crucial thing. Remember- get your friends close but your enemies closer. Right now your cheating spouse is your enemy.
Don’t pack your bags and leave him-yet. You may sooner or later leave your cheating spouse but right now it’s not the wisest decision. Be around and know how deep the hole is. Keep an eye on activities and inactivities and note it down and gather information about the affair if you may- you need it later.
Staying put can give you a chance to know the core of the affair and may be able to give your marriage a chance. Don’t talk more than necessary- keep your spouse cheating affair to yourself. Broadcasting it to friends, family and relatives may create more havoc. Homosapiens are species with long term memory- telling people can give you unnecessary and unsolicited advice.
And if you decide to forgive your cheating spouse someday they might throw that against you. If you feel like telling them- bite your tongue. If feel like your chest is about to burst for not telling anyone- drive to an open space and shout your heart out or just cover your face with a pillow and shout ‘til your hearts content.
The last thing you want is to have your cheating spouse cleaning up his tract. Knowledge is power- telling your husband you know about his infidelity the soonest time possible and telling him you want it stop now may be enough to make him stop. Lingering in pain and denial longer than usual can be very risky, you are just giving them time to be more attached and involved.
One thing about extramarital affairs is they flourish in secrecy, when they are aware their affair is out in the open, they stop. Implement the strategy- never confront your cheating spouse without a proof. Doing so is just a waste of time. Cheaters lie. Present exact name, time and place.
Then ask what you need to know about the affair- how and when it started, the degree of seriousness. Importantly, ask him about your plans, now he is caught, what does he intend to do. Be in control. Forget about the other woman. Obsessing about the mistress is useless. Continuously questioning about her will only divert you from the real issue.
Doing background check and information about the mistress is just a total waste of time and money. Concentrate on making your marriage life work. The other woman is not obliged to take orders from you so talking to her or begging her to stay away from your husband is futile.
And bad mouthing her will make your cheating spouse come for her defense. Focus on the real issue and the real issue here is your family and how to save it. Deal with your cheating spouse accordingly. But remember, whatever move you're going to take always have a strategy.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Art of Happy Marriage. Learn the secrets to a Successful Marriage.
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