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Tags: relationships, post divorce, blending two families together
 With divorce at an all-time high and remarriage rates increasing dramatically every year, blending two families together is more common than ever. The ultimate example of such was the Brady Bunch way back in the 70’s, at a time when divorce and remarriage in America was seeing a surge. Although the show chronicled the life of a blended family, along with the adjustments everyone had to make and the usual childhood problems, it was all TV stuff, not the real world.
Although transitions to new circumstances may have looked easy on the show, what happens in real life is not often as simple as that. Indeed, living with step relationships is quite hard. It’s no news to everyone how conflicts can run high in two families blended together, especially among children.
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However, it doesn’t mean that it is impossible for anyone to live in such conditions, and it is ridiculous for a couple to even try blending two families together. Any couple can make transitions easier for everyone mainly by setting up some necessary household rules and guidelines early on. The following are some ideas that can help everyone have an easier transition in a blended family: When a couple comes to a decision to blend their families together, the first question that has to be considered is whether to move into his or her place.
Although this may be the most common options that a couple would usually consider, sometimes it is more ideal to get a new place instead of moving one family to the other family’s home. This choice is more advantageous to everyone, because it places both families in a neutral position.
It can also avoid resentments between children, which usually happens when they are either taken out of their bedroom to make way for the step siblings, or when they have to share the room. This can also be more practical because of the increased number of the household which would call for a bigger space.
Every family have their own set of rules. A couple blending two families together must settle on specific rules to be established in the new family. The new rules must be agreed upon by both partners, and must be thoroughly discussed with the kids. It is very important to clearly establish the rules for every member to be aware of those that have changed and those that haven’t.
However, the couple must always keep in mind that the birth parent should be the main disciplinarian of his/her child at first. In time, and when the stepparent (as well as the children) has already developed a solid bond with each other, the consistency of disciplinary standards must be gradually introduced so that it will be upheld with all of the kids.
Just like all the other families, one priority would be the calculation of financial needs. Don’t hesitate to discuss money with your partner, because money habits can either make or break a marriage. It is common for a couple in a blended family to have spousal or child support obligations, so it would be wise to decide who will manage the family’s finances in order for these obligations to be promptly paid.
Draw a realistic household budget and allowance money, so as not to miss any of the household member’s needs.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook Breaking Free From Break Up. Learn how you can get your life back after a break up in 21 days - guaranteed!
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