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Tags: relationships, readiness, living together before marriage
 Living in together is a very delicate matter to discuss. Some are really against it while some tolerate it.I was warned about writing an article about living in together because some people are very sensitive to these kinds of issues. As a relationship coach, living in together is not a new thing.
I know one couple who has been living in together for as long as I can remember. Getting married is not an issue for them as long as they know where they stand; they trust each other enough to be on the bound of holy matrimony. They said they want to be together because they love and are committed with each other, they don’t want the constraint and pressure marriage life brings.
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Cohabitation is not for everyone. They say that women are in the losing end in this kind of situation. Personally, I don’t agree with this, I believe in a woman’s capacity to make a decision and they will never choose to be in a situation where they end up as the losing end.
They say that living in together increases the risk of divorce or create a high level of unhappiness for couples. Others say that it breeds contempt. I have coached marriage couples and cohabitating lovers and I noticed that both sets of couples encounter the same relationship issues, except that some cohabitating lovers discussed about getting in to marriage while the married couple sometimes discussed about getting out of it.
They say that the difference between being married and cohabitating is the sense of security. I beg to disagree with this; marriage should not be the basis of your sense of security. If you expect that in marriage you will achieve the security you seek then you are heading for the greatest disappointment of you life, maybe you can get financial security but then again there are pre-nuptial agreements.
Sense of security is a personal matter; you should have this in or out of marriage. Some lovers chose living together before marriage because they want to make sure that they are compatible enough and they are aware that there are things they can only discover when they are living together under one roof.
Some couples would rather risk the consequences of living together before marriage than be trapped in mistake and go through a nasty divorce. Whether you decide to be married or cohabitate, you and your lover should discuss your expectations, goals and level of commitment in your relationship. The success of a relationship wholly depends on the couples degree of commitment and communication, not the status of their relationship… and besides who are we to judge when it comes to matters of the heart.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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