 |
Tags: relationships, readiness, love the second time around
 They say that love the second time around is sweeter and lovelier… or is it? In a marriage or in any relationship, fighting is inevitable and sometimes those fights can get out of hand and lovers break up but after a while- a week or two weeks the most they say their apologies and end up going back together again and after a month or two they fight again and end up going back together again, until it has become an unhealthy cycle in the relationship.
All this to and fro in the relationship can take its toll, one partner may get use to all the separating and going back together that he or she will never take the relationship seriously again and if this happens inside the marriage then both of you are heading for a breakdown.
advertisement
Once in our life we meet couples like this, I know I have. In used to have this couple friend Jingky and Tim- when they fight, they really fight. Plates get broken, curses and threats happened and Jingky would walk away and sleep in a friends house and Tim would do the same.
Then Jingky would find a way to reach out to Tim about how to settle the properties now that they are over, then they would meet and instead of talking about what they’re supposed to talk about, they end up making love and making up. Then the same thing happens after a few weeks until no friends or people take them seriously.
What’s worst is that the degree of fights intensifies, they now hit each other and talks are spreading that Tim is fooling around with some woman and Jingky is now into drugs and “one night stands” but they are still together and they sometime pick a fight at each other so they can have a moment of “freedom”.
It’s all right to fight like crazy, to argue and to do whatever you want with each other (except hitting each other) as long as you learn from it. What I mean is, resolve your issues, going back together just because you’ve got nothing else to do is totally wrong.
When going back together, assess your reasons, here are some wrong reasons of going back together. You are bored, you are afraid to be alone, you think that nobody will accept you, he is the best that you can have, you love the great things he gives you, you love the prestige when you are with him, you are afraid that he will cheat and if you have children, for their sake you stay in the marriage in spite of how chaotic things are.
If two people reconcile for the wrong reasons it is doom to end. So how do you exactly know you are going back for the right reasons? Evaluate your intentions is it based on fear or love? When you know in your heart that going back together brings out the worst in both of you then no matter how painful it is, you’d rather give it up because you want nothing more than to see your partner become the best person that he is and if your relationship can’t deliver that no matter how both of you try then you’d rather leave because you love him too much to see him being destructive.
If both of you have learned to reconcile for the right reasons and grow and transcend then love the second time around is definitely going to be sweeter and lovelier.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
Share this article
You may reprint this article in its entirety on your web site, newsletter or ezine, providing you leave the About the author sections intact. You may not alter the contents.
|
|
