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Tags: relationships, readiness, not ready to make nice
 So you meet a wonderful guy and he seems to be perfectly normal. Although you weren’t expecting to find an average Joe attractive, you’re at least willing to try even the peculiar (relative to your previous choices, that is). You’re just about done with fireworks, anyway; sparklers no longer thrill you.
Now you seek comfort and dependability. Love is lovelier, you think, with logic. After the third dinner date, you think, clearly, he’s a prudent choice. He’s fantastic, makes you laugh, and, most of all, respects you—kissing you on the lips is as far as he has gone. Obviously getting in your pants is not the end goal here, and that’s almost unbelievable in this day and age.
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And then that same week, he suddenly makes a disappearing act. Just when you thought things were progressing well, he goes missing in action. He doesn’t call, text, nor email. After fighting the urge to contact him, you send him a message, but get no reply. Perplexed, stunned, and distressed, you ask yourself: how could this happen? Well, girlfriend, there are many possible answers to that question but only one thing for you to do: nothing.
Your man is just being himself—a homo sapien whose genes propel him to ditch a potentially fulfilling relationship out of fear that he might lose his evolutionary gains—his manhood—and slip back into his primordial (read: chimpanzee) state. In other words, thy man runneth away because thy man ain’t ready. Stop looking inward and finding fault in yourself; it’s his mistake he can’t see your perfection.
Instead, try doing any or all of the following to take your mind off this setback and back into the zone of peace and tranquility: 1. Go to the beach, put on your bikini, and get a tan. 2. Learn a Mediterranean recipe and cook it for your parents. 3.
Do charity work. 4. Shop for a pair of killer stilletos and butt-enhancing jeans. 5. Sketch, even if you don’t know how. 6. Organize your closet and repair what needs fixing in your house. 7. Listen—and dance--to rock music. 8. Make your own ice cream cookies and indulge. 9. To feel empowered, read Maya Angelou.
10. Try a new hairstyle. 11. Take your nieces and nephews to the amusement park. 12. Watch sitcoms and laugh out loud. 13. Paint your nails a different polish. 14. Buy flowers for yourself. 15. Bake a cake and bring it to work. 16. Bike around your neighborhood and stop to chat with an elderly neighbor.
17. Compliment a colleague. 18. Offer your seat in the subway to someone who needs it more. 19. Sleep early and get up early. 20. Look in the mirror, smile, and appreciate the person looking back at you. Needless to say, life is full of mysteries, but you are under no obligation to solve them all.
Sometimes you just have to let an unfortunate episode slide. If it makes you feel better, a lot of other women go through an unexplained desertion and most survive unscathed. The key is to come off it with your pride intact, but that won’t happen if you run after him.
Play it cool, and you’ll emerge better and wiser than before.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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