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Tags: relationships, readiness, ready
 It’s been a long time since cupid pulled his arrow and left a big whole in your heart. And you can still feel the scar. There is always a feeling of lost and bereavement in break ups. The pain can be so excruciatingly paralyzing- it seems that recovery is impossible.
Time can be your enemy or your friend- in this case; time is definitely your ally. Time is the only one that can heal the wound inflicted by love. So how do you know you are ready to stand in the line of fire again and be shot by cupids' arrow? Here are some checklists.
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Assess if you feel better about yourself now. No more crying before going to sleep, no more wallowing, no more self-pity. Your world doesn’t revolve around him anymore and doesn’t occupy ninety- five percent of your brain, in other words you are not fixated with your ex anymore. Now, you have more fun with your friends, you look forward in your next out- of –town escapades.
Your boss is even pleased because you take your job seriously now, career-wise you are thinking ahead. You like yourself better than before. You are up for something new and exciting- the chain of the past is gone. This is one of the first few steps to discern if you are ready to date again.
Another is that, you have learned from your mistakes in your previous relationship. You can think out side of the box now- acknowledged your contribution in the cause of the break-up. You don’t blame yourself or your ex anymore. You have forgiven your ex and most importantly, yourself. You don’t spend your time being angry at him or to yourself- you have grown because you have learned.
Growth and maturity is always a good sign that you can handle a relationship; hence, you are ready to shake that booty again in the dating scene. Another factor that you are really over you past relationship is there no more fantasizing. No more day- dreaming about you and him going back together- no more hoping.
No more looking and waiting for signs around you believing the two of you will reunite and live happily ever after. Instead, you are busy having fun with yourself, friends and work. Before you realize it, you haven’t thought of about him for the last week. This is a sign that you have moved-on and ready to back to the singles bar again.
Another thing to consider about yourself if you are ready to date again, is you are more responsible and more accountable than before. You realized you have your own faults that may have contributed to the split up of your relationship. You have become more honest and more truthful to yourself.
The last but not the least to know if you’re ready to be involved in a romantic relationship is you are happy. Genuinely happy. You are happy about yourself, your life, your world. You have adopted the lifestyle of happiness- when things go wrong; it’s not as heavy as it usually is.
You realize, many things don’t go your way but its okay. You have internalized the thought that everything is a blessing in disguise. You know this because you have been through it. Your past relationship almost broke you in to pieces but because of the pain it caused you have become better.
You understand now that you don’t need a man to be happy- you realize that happiness is an inside job, a personal choice. You are conscious now that you can be alone but not lonely, yes we need someone but you are willing to wait. If you grasp and live this, then you are ready to love and be loved again.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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