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Tags: relationships, readiness, ready for marriage
 Everything’s set: you have the most gorgeous ring and you’ve set the wedding date. Your wedding gown is custom-made, absolutely perfect, and you can’t wait to finally walk down the aisle with the most scrumptious veil ever. The wedding colours are definitely stylish, as well as the attendant’s gowns. Your planner is such a love for finding the most breathtaking reception place, and you had it booked ASAP.
The flowers and favours are ordered, the menu all planned out, and the honeymoon destination that you booked for totally rocks! Now all you have to do is hold your breath for the special day, a day to profess your true, undying love for your soon-to-be hubby. It’s pretty obvious that you’re ready for the wedding—but are you ready for marriage too? Many couples get caught up in the frenzy of planning and executing a wedding while the reality of married life is often pushed at the deepest recesses in the back of their minds.
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Unlike the wedding day where everything is planned for even to the tiniest detail, marriage is never on the spotlight—that is, not until after the honeymoon. So how does a couple know that they are ready for marriage? The primary issue to be considered is the couple’s finances. What will each person bring to the marriage table? Although this may sound like a business deal, cold and calculating, this is a very necessary issue.
Talk about it in terms of figures, not abstract statements. How much does each of you make, and how do you pay the bills? Should you have separate bank accounts? Questions like these are hard, but it should have crystal clear answers or else it could stir trouble in the future.
Marriage is a partnership, and it always requires give and take from both partners. Household chores aren’t only one person’s responsibility, especially if both spouses are working. Short tempers and resentments are sure to come if one spouse has to deal with an exhausting job and come home to another: housework.
Household chores are in no way gender specific, so it’s not just a woman’s job to cook. If he is fond of watching Hell’s Kitchen then give him every chance to be Gordon Ramsay. However, if neither of you are excited to be the executive chef, simply take turns preparing meals.
Talk about who’s doing what and when, so that nobody is left to tackle all the housework alone. The future seems a long way off, but it’s always a good idea to have goals. Remember that you’re not just one person—you already have a spouse to discuss your future plans with.
Is there something that you want to do ten, fifteen years from now? Is there any particular place where you want to build your dream house? Be open about your goals and ambitions—just because your partner knows you inside out don’t mean that he/she can read your mind. Sure, you’re having awesome sex, but will it be the same forever? Sex will not always be exciting, especially when you’re doing the same things over and over again.
Be vocal about your needs and desires with your partner. It’s important for both of you to know what the other wants, in order to avoid boredom and resentment when one’s needs aren’t satisfied. Just because a couple gets married doesn’t mean that both of them welcome the idea of children.
Talk about your true feelings: Is he as excited as you are about having kids? If only one of you wants to be a parent, don’t assume that your partner will change his/her mind once you have the baby. Chances are it could only destroy your marriage. Being ready for marriage requires maturity—a lot of it.
Be very certain that you have this before saying “I Do”.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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