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Tags: relationships, sexuality, sexuality
 “Let me tell you ‘bout the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees, and the moon up above, and a thing called love. Let me tell you 'bout the stars in the sky, and this girl and the guy, the way that they kiss, on a night like this.” I first heard this song two years ago driving home from my son’s school.
I liked the catchy melody, but was discomfited that my four-year-old was belting it out with such abandon. Should he be singing about bees and birds and a guy and a girl kissing at such a tender age, I wonder. I knew it was just a matter of days before he asked me what these birds and bees are up to.
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Human sexuality has always been a touchy subject for parents. The question “Mom, where did I come from?” can reduce most of us to blabbering idiots. It may have to do with our own conservative upbringing, but we shy away from discussing the ‘facts of life’ with our little ones.
However, teaching children about sexuality and its role in their lives could not be more relevant today when kids are maturing worryingly fast—girls barely out of puberty wear more make-up than most 30-something women; boys start stalking girls they like as early as pre-school. And yes, boys and girls come out to play more than they used to, if the ever-younger pram-pushing moms are anything to go by.
So where and how do we start educating our kids about sexuality? We could approach it as we would any important topic—matter-of-factly and to the point. As parents, we should take the initiative and not wait for our children to broach the subject. After all, we do not hesitate teaching them about vital matters such as spirituality, personal safety, and proper conduct so why should we feel awkward discussing equally important sexuality issues? If formal one-on-one sessions with a child feel awkward, utilize informal settings such as television watching and be alert for moments that could initiate conversations about sexual values.
The more a child can relate to the issue, the more impact it would have on his consciousness. It is crucial that both parents educate children of both sexes. Generally, parents focus more on sexually educating their daughters and leaving their sons to their own devices. But when it comes to sexual education, it is imperative that boys get equal treatment as they are the other half of the sexual equation.
And, while mothers are more qualified to talk about puberty and menstruation to their teenage girls, fathers should also take part in their instruction; correspondingly, mothers should have an active role in the sexual learning of their sons. Teaching our children about the biological aspect of human sexuality is the first step in their education; even more important are the sexual values we impart.
Teach them that their sexual conduct has moral implications and accompanying responsibilities. Inform them about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and unplanned pregnancies. However, a balanced view of sexuality is also important. Discuss the negative consequences of reckless sexual behavior, but point out that carried out responsibly, sex is one of the most beautiful expressions of love.
Helping our children grow up to be sexually responsible adults is one of the best legacies we could give them. Providing them with a proper view of sexuality should not be an onerous task; it should be an enjoyable experience for them and for us. But if the job proves harder than we expected, a little story about the birds and the bees may come in very handy.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Powerful Secrets of Seduction. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.
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