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Tags: relationships, singles, the life of single women
 When Sex and the City (SATC) first exploded into our TV screens 10 years ago, single women everywhere heaved a collective sigh of relief—finally, a show that celebrated singlehood and kicked spinsterhood out into the curb! Although the show was set in New York City, it tackled socially relevant universal issues such as STDs, promiscuity, safe sex, love, gay love, commitment and of course, Manolo Blahnik.
Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobbs, Charlotte York, and the respectable Samantha Jones quickly became heroines of the modern thirty-something single woman. Then along came Bridget Jones, the antithesis of everything SATC stood for. Modern thirty-something single woman got confused. This confusion seemed to have little effect on statistics. Studies have shown that worldwide, more and more women are remaining single for longer.
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Single women more than doubled from 1979 to 2002, while the number of married women dropped significantly and co-habiting tripled in number for the same period of time. These figures seem to indicate a preference by women for the unattached life. Why are women hesitating, if not refusing, to get hitched to the marital bandwagon? Some of the less serious reasons for staying unmarried are anecdotal in nature: a woman can actually watch, not channel-surf, television; she does not have to soil her wash with smelly socks and skid mark pants; she does not get jolted to wakefulness by the cold toilet bowl because somebody left the seat up—again.
She can shop guilt-free, has the bed and the duvet all to herself, can watch SATC over and over again, while drooling over Mr. Big, without offending someone. A woman can change outfits ten times before leaving the house without glowering eyes trained on her. And most of all, she sleeps soundly through the night without being awakened by a human lawnmower.
While the reasons cited above are mostly true, being single means so much more. Contrary to popular belief, men are not the only freedom-loving animals. Women, too, value their independence and nobody could be freer than a thirty-something single woman. Unlike her younger counterparts, Miss 30-something is free to go and do as she pleases without worrying about curfews or being grounded, can plop into bed at 2am after a girls’ night out and wake up at midday next without kids hollering at her to get breakfast.
She is accountable to nobody but herself. Being single in her thirties, a woman is likely to be financially secure. The self-worth that comes from earning one’s keep in life is priceless. More importantly, a single woman has the freedom to be whoever she wants to be, and to tap her potential unreservedly.
This is not to say that being married kills a woman’s ability to self-actualize; with marriage, however, comes familial responsibilities that could hinder one from pursuing her dreams to fruition. Examining the reasons above, it becomes clearer why more and more women prefer the uncommitted life. To be free to do as she pleases, to be financially independent, to be accountable only to herself, and to be able to pursue her dreams without encumbrance—these are compelling motivations for a woman to stay single.
Whether she is an SATC kind or a Bridget Jones, she should revel in her single status and enjoy it while it lasts. For who knows what her future holds? After all, Carrie got hitched to Mr. Big, Charlotte married Harry, Miranda and Steve got back together, and Bridget Jones finally got engaged to Mark Darcy.
In the end, all four heroines changed their minds about staying single. When Miss 30-something finally meets her Mr. Right, she might just change her mind too.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook The Male Magnet Formula. Discover how to attract men like a magnet.
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